baby things?!

Ummmm there are 8 bazillion things on Babies R Us Registry. I don't know what things are good and bad and ugly and in between. I don't know what to pick. Some things I've added because well, I was told to by stalking my new mama Laurie's registry or someone mentioned how great it was. Otherwise... ???

So mommies... can you please give me some suggestions. Not basic ones like "get bottles" but what kindsss of things you bought. What swing lulled your little one to sleep? What high chair was crap and you hated? Well I don't need to know what you hated, just what you loved.

Oh and you don't have to be a mom to answer this. You could be a dad. Or a really good aunt who remembers something your neice loved. Or a grandma who watches your daughter's baby. I mean if you know the right stuff, you can be anyone. But help! and help fast!

xoxo,
Clueless mom to be.

Front Porch

I keep seeing all these cute front porch fall decor set-ups. Pinterest is full of them. And while I found myself pinning elaborate designs, I was strolling the $1 aisle of Target today and saw a few cute items. I went with it. And instead of the likely $50 i would have spent in AC Moore buying a bazillion decor items, I just decided that I'd go for a budget design on this one (let's face it, I'll save the splurging for the baby's nursery).

Those flowers are from the grocery store on sale last week. I picked up those cute vine-made pumpkins for $2 each, and the sign was $1. It is sparkly, but you can't tell here. So thanks, Target and Acme. You made my front porch presentable for fall & Halloween for $10. Bam. Happy Decorating!

Happy Life, Blogettes, and Old Friends.

I was reading my daily blogs and fellow blogger Sarah wrote this post about reminiscing about weddings (a fellow 2010 wedding-er), appreciating the fall season, and falling in love over again with the lives we live. It made me nostalgic and yes, sure, I blame some of the hormones pumping through my blood... but it is also so... me. It reminded me of when 16 year old me would dream about the days of a husband who would cook me dinner (okay fine maybe then it was just a steady relationship where your boyfriend called you back), having a house, a life, my own car, my own phone. How life has changed... but how thankful I am for two things 1. My dreams have come full circle. I have the things I want in life, but more importantly, the people I want in life and 2. How things haven't changed at all in some ways.

Which also brings me to think of friendships... I have women whose blogs I follow daily and feel like I am a part of their lives even if I am cities away. Some are close friends, but some I have never met. I think of it as my own little (non creepy) online community. And I love it. I love having a cup of tea on a Saturday morning and getting lost in the words and pictures of some fantastic writers who share their lives via blogging. And I am thankful that I started this blog because I love that I can do the same,  keep my family updated, and have a written dialogue of our daily life.

And while considering how things have changed and not changed, my mind turns to my friends who've been there through it all. The other day, I got a card from one of my grad school friends congratulating Jamie and I on our baby news. The card was cute, but funny just like the person who sent it to me. It brought me back to the days of cracking up in class or in the student union. A few weeks ago, one of my oldest and best friends from Yardley got engaged. I found myself reminiscing of the days of pawning each other's parents off on the other ("but Meg's mom said we can.."), chatting on aol, and taking trips to the beach. Today I had coffee with a high school friend who is planning a wedding and living a life that I can tell makes him truly happy. My favorite old roommate and I find the time to discuss the important things: what clothes we want to buy, what I should name my child, and if she should have a clear tent at her wedding. My college friends lovingly call baby to be "meatball" which totally cracks me up, and they make a point of asking how I am.  These friendship- and so many more I am grateful for- have somehow laced themselves through my life, even when I live in a different state and find our best way of communication may be catching up for 10 minutes via gchat.

And as I think about the future life of me, I hope I am as pleased with myself  and my life looking back on the years as I am now. So thanks Sarah for the inspirational post that left me typing my thoughts this evening. And thanks fall for being the best time of the year... a time of remembering weddings, friendships, and being thankful (hello thanksgiving) for what we have. Cheers.

Eggs. Eggs. Eggs.

6 months ago you could barely get me to eat eggs. I would maybe have Eggs Benedict at brunch, and a good egg salad once in awhile. But really I didn't like them. Scrambled eggs for breakfast? Only if you piled on the cheese. Eggs and toast? Nope. And to that measure, we didn't keep eggs in our house. Ever. When I wanted to bake I had to run to the store to get eggs, or more often, egg beaters or something of the sort.

Well things are different now. There is a little baby who rules my life and my body. Little baby growing inside says eat, I say how much. Baby says eggs! I say okay. And without eggggsageration (I crack myself up), I could eat eggs every day. Now, for those of you who use Pinterest (my profile) you would see that my section of "Foodies" is taken up by eggs. Breakfast eggs, eggs on sandwiches, lunch eggs...  Eggs benedict with smoked salmon instead of ham is actually by and far my favorite, but preggy websites say no smoked salmon. Has the same stuff in it as lunch meat. Damn you, smoked meats. I adore you so much. Let me show you some of my favorite egg recipes I have found. I have not created any of them. Often I just whip up an omelet with avocado, tomato, and cheese. And this morning I attempted to make destroyed two poached eggs. Actually, I destroyed one. The other was not so sad face.  Anywho... here we go.

My Name is Snickerdoodle Egg Salad & Avocado Lunch Sandwich

1. Egg Salad & Avocado Sammy: Yeah I know, egg salad and not a poached or breakfast egg. But let's face it, eggs and avocados are two of my favorite foods. If I just ditched the egg yolk I'd be in pretty good shape for eating healthy protein and healthy fat filled foods. But this has yolks. And mayo. A family reunion for an egg.

Cheese & Chocolate Blog: Egg Stuffed Potatoes

2. First of all, anyone who has a blog called cheese & chocolate wins my heart x10. Second, these are sound sooooo easy to make. Potatoes in oven to bake, slice off top & scoop out. Crack egg & put some bacon and cheese on top. Bake again. Ready to go. This would be a good holiday (Christmas) morning breakfast.

Eggs Benedict from Simply Recipes

3. This is my favorite egg dish of all time. Probably because technically the hollandaise sauce is an extra kick of egg yolk- mmmm fatty cholesterol. I will eat this almost every time I go to brunch places. And since the meat is cooked it is one of the few "lunch meat" type things I can still have. Amazing. I am determined to make this myself one day, but i still haven't made that effort. Someone come over for brunch & give me reason to attempt this bad boy.

Dine & Dish Ham and Egg Breakfast Cups

4. Also look super easy and delicious to make. They don't have the pull of the runny egg yolk, but the savory ham and cheese together looks amazing. Plus, I love to cook things like this and burn the cheese a little. Call me what you will, I think it makes it taste better.

The Kitchn Blog explains Thomas Keller's Spanglish Sandwich

5. Anyone who saw Spanglish and did not salivate at this sandwich is not human. Or just a vegetarian. Either way, French Laundry chef Thomas Keller created this especially for that movie. Hence, the "Spanglish Sandwich". I again have never made this. The poaching of the eggs/frying of the eggs with a perfectly half cooked half runny yolk evades me... I have such an issue with this. But I want this sandwich. At 9:00 am.

So, I think since eggs are my new BFF and I want to make all of these recipes (Okay I can also have just a plain poached egg with some salt and pepper to curb the unhealthy bacon that takes over most of these), I think I need something to help me out.

What is this you ask??? Why, it is an EGG POACHER. And on Amazon.com  I can get it for $15. I think I should give it a go. But we have so much random stuff in our kitchen we don't use, I will wait a week or two to see if the egg craving sticks. If so, egg poacher, you are mine. And I invite you all over for some Eggs Benedict (that J will likely end up cooking when I manage to still screw up the eggs even with a poacher).

And just to add some more cheese to these dishes and my humor, I hope that you share in 

these EGGELLENT recipes! YUM!

There are things to do in the fall. I like the fall. The fall and I are getting along well.

J ran the Philly Rock & Roll half marathon this morning. He is a trooper and did great. I am always impressed with him. I hope our kid gets his athletic abilities. It was also a gorgeous gorgeous morning and I got to enjoy some sunshine in Philly. Oh, and I loved watching the winning finishers. Less than an hour? Geez. Those people can go on a nice 5 mile jog in ohhhh 20 minutes. Jealous. That would be awesome. 

But, it also meant Saturday we had to drive into Center City to pick up his race bib and "swag".  Since the convention center is directly next to Reading Terminal Market, I thought maybe we should stop for some food. We grabbed a few slices of AMAZING pizza. And I wished we had 8 more.

Ahhh amazing. I had a slice with fresh mozz (it was heated, let's not freak out with the soft cheese issues), tomatoes, and spinach. J had two delicious chicken and something else pieces. I wanted everything in the case on the right above too... but the line was foreverrrrrr. So we took our pizza and were on our way.

Linvilla Orchards was almost overwhelming. But to be honest, after already making a trip to Philly, having lunch, and walking around, we skipped the apple picking and instead headed to the pre-picked apples. But lots to do. An arts & music festival. Pumpkinland. Farmer's market. Food being sold. Canned fruits & veggies. Free samples. Yes please.

And best of all? Deli Pickles!

 Extremely happy.

 Didn't want to miss any of this. It is indeed true, pickles and pregnant women mix well.

Okay, a lot of this was based on food. But, good food. And fun places to find food. So now that we've got boots. And leggings. And apples and a half marathon finished, There is MUCH more fall to be enjoyed! 

Rest easy, the boots are secured. Fall can officially progress.

I couldn't contain myself and ordering boots online became a quickly diminishing option. So after work on Friday, I wooed J by saying I'd pick up chinese on the way home and made my way to the shoe store. Famous Footwear, a place I have probably never bought a single pair of shoes before, was having a buy one, get one half off. The Steve Madden Intyce were priced at $149 or above everywhere I looked so I went in with the goal of spending something within that general budget. If not, all bets were off.

Well what to my wondering eyes did appear? These babies met me at the door. I said yes to the dress shoes before I even looked at the price- which was cheaper than the Intyce, but still Steve Madden. I was sold. They were $129 on sale for $119. Sold, sold even more sold. A great deal for a pair of boots. For the record, they are the Steve Madden Indira.

But then something even BETTER happened... What you ask? Well, I found another pair I loved. These were Steve "Madden Girl" Extreme. Not concerned with the Madden Girl. They were $89 on sale for $74. BUT remember the BOGO 1/2 off? Yeah, I'm into the lingo now too. That made my day.

I spent a total of $147 (I don't know where the extra few bucks came off- but I was not asking, complaining, or walking back in the store). I felt like the lady in the IKEA commercial who is screaming "START THE CAR!!" because she got such a good deal. On Friday morning I planned to spend $149 on one pair of boots- and on Friday evening I brought home two new beautiful pairs of foot dreams for under that amount.

We DID indeed go to Linvilla Orchards. And I do indeed LOVE these boots- both pairs. Fall can officially begin and I can wear my leggings & boots uniform with pride.I would live in this outfit if acceptable.

Oh yeah look there's preggo me. With my new boots. I love my new boots! Next here's a blurry picture I took on our drive around town today. I was trying to exemplify the concept of how great my boots were.

HAPPY FEET. 

xo.

Fall Joys.

I woke up today and saw the temperature outside was 47 degrees. Chilly, yes. But ohhh how it felt like the first breeze of fall when I stepped outside to head to work. And all the things I love about fall (including memories of our wedding & my friend Sarah's wedding in VT last year) came flying at me.

This weekend I hope to take in some of my fall favorites. First of all, even though caffeine is on the no-no list, I need to get myself a decaf Starbucks pumpkin spice latte. And quick.

Immediately following, or with drink in hand, I think we are going to venture out to Linvilla Orchards to pick some apples (and pears which are apparently in season too?!) Here are some of the apples picked from Linvilla. I can't wait to have some fresh fruit in the house... and maybe bake an apple pie. Mmmm.

Before any of this occurs, I have an important job to do. I still need new fall brown boots. I am going to look this weekend because I need new brown boots to wear with leggings and a sweater to go apple picking, right? I think so. I may cave and order these, the Steve Madden Intyce you all commented on.

But I have to be honest, it all depends on my ability to be patient enough to wait for them to come. I hear that Famous Footwear may carry them, and they are having a buy one get one free event. TWO pairs of boots would be even better than one! Will definitely have to look into this...

And what could be better than the memories of our fall wedding?  A crisp cool day at Winterthur Museum & Gardens was the best wedding weather and venue we could ask for. We can discuss further on our anniversary. But I love this photo....

Happy Fall Weekend! 

Will Travel: Need Suggestions

Our anniversary is in October. We don't have any big plans yet, because I actually screwed up and thought we had something to do on that Saturday night and we'd have to just plan around it. But nope. We don't. So, we are thinking about going away somewhere close for the weekend.

We've done places like Annapolis for valentine's days before... and Rehoboth B&Bs for my birthday... but looking for other suggestions. We live in the Wilmington area, so preferably within 2-3 hours max.

Suggestions??  Help!!

xo

Ummm can someone teach me how to make a REAL inspiration board?

So I love pinterest. But I wish there was a feature that let you make one "board" into an inspiration board in one file. Pinterest should really look into that. That would be fantastic.

I'll keep this short and sweet. Here's my makeshift-I hate my computer it's so old-inspiration board. I don't even own photo shop. But I do own pinterest, or at least I own my baby inspiration board on there. And here's what I've come up with so far (well here's like 50% of the things I've "pinned").

In the spirit of house makeovers which are clearly our favorite thing to do, I don't plan to slack on the nursery. We haven't touched it yet.... because we have one more project that needs to be done pre-nursery, but related to nursery. Okay, short on words isn't my forte. Here we go: 

Oh PS I know it's kind of running the margins. But choosing the smaller size made it so much harder to see. No matter what the sex (which we will find out) I love the grey/white/bright spots of yellow theme, and we will just do more grey if boy and more yellows if girl. And we already have dark grey and yellow awesome anthro curtains in the room that will be baby's room.

If anyone has advice about how to make great inspiration boards without using old school paint (umm yeah that was my approach), leave your best ideas!

Weddings Weddings Weddings. Congrats L+D.

If I could count the number of times in the past year I've heard Black Eyed Peas lyrics, "tonight's gonna be a good night" during a wedding reception I'd be rich. No joke. We go to weddings a LOT. I mean I think every fb status is a wedding one. People are getting hitched. And we, we are their good friends. This weekend was no different. Black Eyed Peas blared as the bridal party made their entrances to Lindsay & Dave's wedding celebration. And I saw yet another of my friends start her happily ever after.

Lins & Dave got "married" (you know that official thing you do with the signatures and papers) in Sonoma in August. We unfortunately couldn't make the trek, but look how prettttty it was!

So this Saturday they had a celebration in Philly (Manayunk to be exact). Lins and Dave chose the Artesano Gallery for the event... and somehow all those years I lived in the yunk I never knew this existed. It's beautiful and was a perfect choice!

1. We got ready with Lins that day. Her sister Jaime did her make up. She wore a short white dress for the celebration and a sash. And her bling bling was sparkling. 

2. We waited in the lobby for the men to be ready. Why do men always take longer than women to get themselves together? Maybe it's the extra beer bridal party males need. The last pic is of just that. But it's dark. Oopsies.

3. I have no picture for this. But umm why did no one tell me that at 4 months preg my feet would already be a little swollen? Not horrible, but my 6 inch heels did not cut it for more than a few hours. I was sad. I need new heels. Hear that J? A GOOD reason to buy (lower) cute heels!

4  Cocktail hour was welcomed with open arms. They had mini little cheesesteak rolls. And mini crab cakes. And watermelon with cheese and an olive which sounds bizarre but was oddly good. And we took some cute photos. Note my heels are already off. And I do have a mini bump, but the black dress conceals it a bit.

5. Lindsay and Dave just looked genuinely and fully happy. I love when my friends look like that. It makes my heart feel warm and fuzzy.

Cutest.

6. I want to give a big shout out to whoever picked out the cupcake flavors. Oreo? Yes. Red Velvet. Yes. This flavor below that I can't categorize that J consumed so quickly I barely saw it? Yes. And yeah, I realize this is my second post about cupcakes. Get over it. I like cupcakes.

CONGRATS LINDSAY & DAVE!!!

OH ps.... You want to hear some true romance (or sheer terror for those of us who are controlling like me?) Dave planned the entire honeymoon, told Lindsay what to pack, and they leave tomorrow. She has NO CLUE where they are going. No clue. Brave woman. Women like that get the romance because they let it happen. Be a little bit like that, it's good for you. That's my advice of the day. Take it or leave it. xo.

Blood tests, fake baby names, and fake drinking.

(Originally written on June 25th FYI). I'll make these updates in blue, just to be fair, in case it's a boy. Not that red from the last post means girl.)

Do you want to know how anti-climactic it is to get a blood test to see if you are pregnant? You go to LapCorps, read the same waiver that ex-cons who have to pee in cups to take drug tests read, and are led back to a boring white mini cubicle. Yep, (possible) baby to be doesn't even get its own room.

The whole time I am in there, I am waiting for the lab tech to say Congrats! or to ask if I am excited. But nothing. She doesn't even acknowledge that the tube of blood she is pulling from me is to see if there is a new little human being growing inside. This, is without exaggeration, our exchange.

Me: Sometimes they have trouble getting my blood, I tried to drink a lot of gatorade this morning before I came, you know, because I can't have diet coke (baby reference). Not that diet coke would hydrate me.
Tech:  *smiles* We can use a butterfly needle.
Me: Okay, that would be good, I just wanted to give you warning.
Tech: Well, I think your veins will cooperate today, I can see them.
Me: Great. I am anxious to get this test done!
Tech: It's empty in here today at this time. It's because the elderly come at 6 am, like before we even open. They wait at the door. If I was retired, I wouldn't wake up so early. Well, maybe I would because I hear that just happens but I wouldn't venture out. Maybe I'd drink some coffee and relax. Not get somewhere at 6 am.
Me: *fighting back urge to say I CANT HAVE COFFEE!!!*
Tech: Well, ya know, I bet my grandmother would do that.
Me: (now engaging in this conversation???) Yeah my grandma wakes up really early too. She says the rosary every morning.
Tech: Okay, you're all set. Have a good day.
Me: Thanks (confused). 

Waiiiiit a second, I came here to see if I have a baby. You poked me with a butterfly needle, talked to me about elderly people's sleep patterns, and that's it?! I was disappointed. I went to Home Goods to make myself feel better and looked at high heels. I decided I don't need new heels pre baby and went home. (This is not entirely true. I also got  decaf latte afterwards. I remember this day actually pretty darn clearly.)

In other updates, J and I have started to jokingly and fantasy-world discuss names. But we have not gotten very far. Do you know what happens when your last name is Walls? A few things. First, you can add almost any color or adjective and have a funny name. So far J has suggested... Brick, Stone, White, Violet... and the list goes on. (My dad and J had an email chain at one point. Things like Berlin and Great were also added to the list. This is funny some of the time. But my grandmother thinks it is hilarious, so we say it often to make her laugh. ) J also suggested if the baby is born on 11/11/11 (umm that has no chance of happening, that's like 4 months before little one is due), that we name it some weird video game name because that company will give you free games for life. NO THANK YOU. I have suggested only one real name (which I still sort of love so I am not going to reveal it) and J told me it sounded like an elf. This coming from someone who wants to name our baby STONE WALLS? I rest my case.

Let's go on to other falsities. Drinking. I am not an alcoholic. In fact, I don't drink a lot very often at all. But I do love a glass of sauv blanc or vodka soda splash of lime. And e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. who knows me knows this. So this weekend in Rehoboth we went to dinner with our friends and I had to figure out a way to hide it. I couldn't just sip club sodas because I would have had to order them. So we got to the restaurant early and I got a non-alcoholic drink. A lemonade. Salt Air Kitchen has the BEST homemade lemonade. (Lemonade is my favorite drink in the world with child. I don't know why but it fixes everything. I try to cut it with water or have lemon water to avoid the major sugar rushes and fear of gestational diabetes.)  J and I discussed our approach. We went to happy hour last night and were hungover so not drinking a lot? My stomach was hurting? (this isn't far fetched for those of you who know me!) We need to get up early in the morning to see family? Fail fail fail. So I ordered ONE drink, a lemonade with vodka and placed it between J and myself. I took a sip, then would literally spit it back into my water. And then J would take a HUGE sip and it would look like it was gone. Thank goodness it was Friday night, we were all relatively tired, and drinks were not suggested after dinner. I am so happy that July is not our super busy month. It will give me some time to relax and hide away. (I owe my husband a big thanks for this one. And a few other times. Sorry Cauff & Baback for lying to you. It was out of necessity only. Promise. You are still my blog reader extraordinaires.)

We head to Bermuda next week and I am a liiiittttle nervous about flying given my nausea. But it's not horrific yet and I am hoping the worst holds off until we get back. After that, we have THREE WHOLE WEEKENDS of only small plans. Phewww. (Ugh even thinking back to this flight and my meager breakfasts that consisted of like cheese and a small sliver of coffee cake makes me nauseated.)

Our first real doctor's appointment is July 15, followed by August 9th (I think these dates are wrong, but who cares.). Depending on if there are pictures after that first appointment, we may decide to tell our parents then. But my parents are in San Francisco on vaca during that time. So it may have to wait until the next weekend. I am LITERALLY not able to talk to my mom as long as usual and find myself feeling like every sentence is a lie. But I want to see if we can hold off until I can tell my mom and dad together, in person. We will see if that happens.(Again, I think I told my mom like the day after this... maybe?)

Oh, Laurie, I want you to know that I also feel I am lying every single time I speak to you and have 100 questions for you and cannot wait until I can tell you, too. I am still trying to figure out if I can convince you that we need to get lunch instead of dinner in Bermuda so that I don't have to try to lie again.( Laurie has now informed me of entirely too many things in fact. But, this worked for the trip. But not because I convinced her. Because preggo Laurie (who is now Mommy Laurie!!!) suggested ice cream and I was mooooore than happy to oblige.)

I continue to feel exhausted but can't sleep well at night. Up at 6 am, but taking multiple naps per day on the weekends. I am considering moving to Canada where you get a year of paid maternity leave. (That's not realistic... but still... sounds so nice) My stomach is also starting to be more picky. If I am hungry and don't eat, I am screwed. Nausea ensues immediately. If I eat too much, my stomach hurts. I have sort of gotten the hang of it, but as I sit here the acid burning in my stomach tells me I am not listening... So I am off to feed baby bubba, who is probably about 2 mm now. (I had no idea that these were the easy days and soon the nausea would take over my life for a few months -- but it was welcome-- because it meant baby was growing). 

Note: I am a horrible secret keeper. The fact that I was writing things down, but couldn't tell anyone was killing me. J kept telling me just wait.. just wait... it was SO hard. But I did it. Go me. I'm a champ. 

PPS (in current time). Pinterest houses my inspiration for the nursery. If you don't belong to this site; join. Makes life more fun.  

Growing a Baby is HARD WORK

I wrote this post when we found out we were having a baby. Updates inserted in red.

Yep, that's right. I said a baby. I am writing this post and saving it. I am not sure if I will even post it. But it is for me and J and to keep track of our life. And since this silly blog dialogs our life, it is only appropriate that baby bubba gets their own post. So there is indeed a small little baby growing. I think. I haven't had my blood tests yet. But I think. For Real. (Blood tests and heart beats and ultrasounds say yes).

Let's back up.  About a week ago (today's Wednesday June 22), I was like hm ya know, I feel WEIRD. Yep, just weird. Not like vomiting in the toilet can't keep down wine weird (that would come later), but weird. So while J made dinner on the grill, I took a preg test. It was negativeslightlypositive. I mean so slightly that you literally had to SQUINT, hold it up to the light and turn around in circles. I ask J, "Do you think I'm crazy because I think there is a line". He just smiled and kissed me. That means, "Yes babe, I do but I won't tell you that when it is regarding our possible offspring." Fast forward a few days. It's mom's retirement party. I have like 3 pieces of pizza and a glass of wine that night.(I mean I ammmmm sort of lactose intolerant, the cheese could have been the culprit. We once used that as a grand excuse in high school) Saturday morning. VIOLENTLY ill. Stomach wants to eject itself from my body. J and I go upstairs to nap. I ask again, "Do you think there is a baby in there or you think I just need to wait longer to see?" J again smiles, and agrees to just take a long nap with his then crazy wife.

Sunday we come home and I am STILL curious. I take another test. Mind you I own like the cheapiest test there is. I see a line. A real line, but also still a very very light line. I am not romantic at first because I am still somewhat confused. I walk downstairs and say to J, and I quote "Tell me THAT'S not a line" His response? No hugs and cuddles and tears. He says "That's not clear blue easy."(Apparently, in retrospect, that doesn't matter. The cheap tests work too. But arm yourself with some expensive ones.) So I am like crap, my husband, and the daddy of this maybe existent child is not excited. But I sort of feel the same way. I am totally not convinced. So I say "be right back".

I run to the pharmacy and arm myself with 5 more tests. Two different kinds. I buy J a Father's Day card. Oh did I forget that? We found out on Father's Day. I come home. I pee again (I drank gatorade on the way to the store and ditched my diet coke after 2 sips after starting to FREAK OUT about my recent caffeine intake). This time it is a plus sign. A plus sign! Cue heart butterflies. I write out J's first "pre" father's day card and stick the positive test inside.  I do realize in retrospect I made my husband hold my pee. But whatever. J then reads and says aww and we hug and kiss and do happy dances. And then J makes me dinner and we eat. Because baby needs to be fed! Then I don't know what to do because you know, you can't tell people. You can't tell people?! Um anyone know me to keep a good secret? Nope. This is going to be the hardest 3 months of my life. (Note* 4 months. I waited 4 months to make this "public".)

So since I can't tell "people" I tell google. I google my due date (February 28 according to the interwebs on Sunday), I google how big my baby is (less than 1mm), I google baby names (okay fine, I was getting ahead of myself). J and I decide to get comfy on the couch and watch a movie. I promised to watch it, but I spent 90% of the time googling. (February 24 according to the doctor... but what do they know?!)

Then I don't sleep that night. BUT here's the funny thing. For the past two weeks I have not been sleeping well. Not at all. Up at 5am, sleepy at 9pm. Helloooo why did no one tell me how TIRING it is to grow a baby?  I feel exhausted. 24 hours a day, I want a nap. My eyes start to close. This may or may not be complicated by the fact that my morning latte and afternoon diet coke have disappeared. But I don't think so.  And my stomach does not like me. It also does not like my prenatal vitamin that is legit a horse pill size x5. I know this is not news. I am not the first person to ever discover this. But other than that, I feel okay. And happy. (I still miss my lattes, but regular coffee can be gone forever for all I care)

Baby daddy, J, has been cooking baby mama some food before I get home at night. My commute is KILLING me right now. My eyes close the entire drive home. I have off this Friday and get my blood work to make sure there's a baby growing. And I already love 1mm baby. (my commute is over, hallelujah.) 

First doctor's appointment is July 15th. I am sooo excited. I have questions. Again, google can help me with most. But I just want to know this is all real. After that we will tell our families. And then becomes the long wait until we decide to tell the rest of the world. (Ha, that never happened. I told my parents before the appointment).

So for now, for today, growing a baby is very hard work. And now I am going to eat a microwave meal, take my horse pill, drink some gingerale, and curl up under a blanket tonight. So happy. And so excited to grow a little one! We are so lucky.

And little baby, I already love you. xoxo.

(A big shout out to my wonderful friend Kelly who knew about pregnancy from day 2 because she called me out on it and managed to keep it a secret. You are the best.) 

This is our first photo together after finding out. I forgot to even take pictures of the positive tests. I do have them though. I also have the card I gave J. But no photo evidence. Note how exhausted I look in this picture!

Hurricanes, Earthquakes, 9-11 10 year reunion. Our pets HEADS are falling off....

I think I once already used the pets heads falling off thing.

I digress.

First there was an earthquake. I was at work in a meeting with a woman from California. To the doorways, she exclaimed and we went. And stood. And then I had no cell phone service for 7 minutes. End of story. But scary because ummm earth quakes, I don't really like you. You are supposed to be in California, where people know what to do and don't freak out. Or no where, I'd prefer that one.

Then there was a hurricane. That luckily we got very mild effects from. No water in the basement, no windows smashing in (yes I did board some windows). But, the rest of the east coast was not so lucky. And I feel bad for the people who lost their homes to evil water. I really do. Water can be cool sometimes, but it can also be a horrible pain in the ass. AND when we went to New Hampshire, we actually got downgraded from a beautiful house to a condo because the HURRICANE decided to sweep out the earth from under some of the buildings. Not that I'm bitter. But, I also did not like the Hurricane. Those are supposed to be in Florida. Again, a freak experience.

Now this weekend is the 10 year anniversary of 9-11. And, to be honest I don't like the fact that GMA and my other news programs (I sound like a grandma, get over it) keep telling me there is an unidentified threat in NYC and DC. There are a lot of people I care about in those places. Let's hope for the best. But with the 10 year anniversary and the replaying of TV and radio of 9-11, I can't help but remember the day the planes struck the World Trade Centers... and how it affected Yardley being a huge commuter city to NYC... and how the pilot of one of the planes was the dad of kids my friends babysat in the neighborhood next door.

So this weekend I am hoping that as the 10 year anniversary of a somber but powerful day rolls around, that all is calm and good in the world. That there are no hurricanes. Or earthquakes. Or trains or planes being hurt. And, in my very nostalgic mood lately, take a minute and remember the thousands of families who are missing a loved one from that day. And how lucky we all are to be here with happy and healthy families. Watch a 9-11 TV show, listen to the families and survivors. Take a minute to appreciate that the government and country which is often so torn over politics all remembers that day as tragic, and everyone seems to bond together over one common thing.

And after this weekend, let's go back to blue skies and sunshine for all. Just the way I like it.

*OH WAIT, in happier news, one of my very loved friends, Laurie, and her hubs Joe, welcomed their new little boy, Logan Joseph Steffa, this weekend!!  Congrats you two. LOVE LOVE LOVE.

New Hampshire Loving.

New Hampshire is a place that feels like home. Every year, no matter where we are and what we are doing, we all head up to North Conway for a weekend, a long weekend, or sometimes a week or longer like in the early days of vacationing.

New Hampshire means long car rides punctuated with stops at random country stores, pictures at Lake Chocurua on the way to our destination, roaming the shops in the little town of North Conway and getting candy from the general store. It means visiting Jackson falls and the Kangamangus highway. It means sliding down rocks and wading in cold water. It means sharing one big condo in Attitash Village with the whole family and gathering in the kitchen for drinks and dinner. New Hampshire has been a part of my life for literally as long as I can remember. From camping in cabins with my parents and brother as little kids, to a now annual hike of Mount Washington, home of the world's worst ever recorded winds and weather, it's another place that reminds me of the deep roots of our family traditions (my grandpa and dad started hiking Mt. Washington over 40 years ago) and makes me smile. Every time.

This year, we decided we'd make the trek for Labor Day, since I started a new job this week and knew I wouldn't be able to take some time off for awhile. J and I flew Thursday evening (I hate the 12 hour drive) and met my parents in Manchester. The rest of the fam came in on Friday. This year, the weather, allergies, and some other factors led to a decision... the men were hiking, but the girls were going to take a day to shop at the Outlets. I won't argue with that.

Here's some pictures of my FAVORITE things. Thanks dad for continuing this yearly tradition. And thanks to J and Sam for immediately bonding with the family's silly ways and being troopers.

Lake Chocorua... One of the most photographed places.

North Conway, NH lookout... Mt. Washington's summit was in the clouds...

Zeb's General Store. North Conway. Best place EVER.

I like a successful hike! With no injuries (minus J's little run in with a rock boulder).

Jackson Falls. But my "like" about this is that J is a photography lover. And takes lots of pictures of his wife. And it always makes me smile.

Together at Jackson Falls!

One of the oldest covered bridges in the country.... love it.

Nothing compares to our NH getaways... because it is all so familiar and feels like an old friend every time we return. It make me want to stay forever (or at least a few weeks). Next year we are thinking about renting out a big house and staying for longer. NH is a mix of nostalgia and excitement for the future time we will spend up there with our families. 

Hope everyone had a great labor day weekend!! xo