10 Things I wish I could change about my Mom Body (It's not what you think)

Sometimes I dream about having my pre baby body back, but I've become accustomed to those changes. The extra fat or skin or changes in shape are part of having these beautiful children. Sure, being able to wear a bikini confidently again would be nice. But do you know what would be nicer? These things. 

1.  Skinnier Hips

But not for the reason you think. Stuffed between two car seats in the backseat of our altima on a road trip with both girls crying I have never longed for a thinner model of myself. The bruises on both hip bones and awkward sideways sitting would love more space.

2: Extra Hand (or two or five but I'd settle for one)

All the time. Seriously. But recently? Target parking lot trying to "one handedly" fold the stroller and get the infant and toddler both in the car before breakdown ensues.While not letting the toddler's chocolate milk and cake pop from Starbucks spill (don't judge). It would be extra especially nice if my arm was stretchy.

3.  Breast attached to my hand

What is it with all these car things? When we are driving and the only thing I can reach back to the babe's car seat is my hand- and she is not interested at all in a hand. Wouldn't it be nice? A bottle wouldn't work either because I'd have to see what I was doing. Boobhand. 

{Honorable breastfeeding mention by my friend Sarah: Breastmilk on tap. No pumping. Just hit a button and voila- a bottle is ready}

4. Unattached eyes (That sounds so weird now that I typed it)

Especially now that it's spring. I'm running into the house with groceries, or the baby, or a coffee, and the toddler insists she is fine staying outside alone. I have to decide between bad mom and letting raw chicken decompose on the front lawn.

5. Legs that never get tired

Have you ever swayed tirelessly at 3 am for an hour, only to put the baby down and have them wake up two point five seconds later and start the process over? My legs want to fall off. But I can't sit down. BECAUSE SHE KNOWS if I sit down. How dare you rock a baby while sitting instead of standing? Legs. I need better ones. 

6.  Everlasting clean hair.

It's not that I don't cherish the time I do get to take a hot shower, I do. A lot. But the process of washing, drying, and flat ironing takes time. Sometimes I don't feel like it. Sometimes I have two kids and am trying to get out the door to gym class and dry shampoo has to be my bff. But ongoingly clean hair I never would have to worry about? Sign.me.up.

7. Bigger (stronger) bladder.

Post pregnancy bladder is just not what it used to be. And even before that, I was always the one in line at the frat party 10x after a few miller lites. But now? I don't have time to pee. Especially not when I'm out with both girls/at a park with no bathroom/in the car with the kids/running out the door late for work. I need this organ to hold about five times what it does now. That would be lovely. 

8. A voice box that repeats what I say in programmed intervals.

Put on your shoes. It's time for dinner. Please bring your cup downstairs. I hate nagging. I truly do. I would love it if my brain just sent out wavelengths telling my kids what to do when I needed them to do it. It could even follow them around the house while I packed up the diaper bag.


9. A husband's ability to sleep through all sounds.

Okay, fine, that's not a "body" thing but maybe an ear thing? Once the hubby is out, he's out. He will hear a screeching baby or a blood curdling toddler scream. But that babbling I hear? Never. The foot hitting the crib that jolts me awake? Nope. Peaceful dreams. Give me some of that.


10. Photographic Memory that printed actual photos and videos. On demand.

The time DOES go fast. My iphone cannot keep up with the amount of hilarious things my toddler says or the cute phases my baby makes. I want to capture it, all in my head, and one day be able to go back and say "What was Piper doing on April 6, 2015?" or "How did Sienna say the word banana ate age 3 when she's talking too fast?"(ablana for the record). This one is cheesy, I know. But I'm the biggest proponent of photo taking, and I want the memories to all last as long as humanly possible. I can't be in two places at once either (damn, maybe I just need two of me) so I'd love the sweet snapshot of my toddler before bed time before scuttling off to rock the infant.

I guess none of this is realistic, but a girl can dream. What mombody part do you wish you had?

See? Need a third arm to carry bags. And possibly have a cocktail.

 

T H R E E

{Another late post, I started writing this the night before Sienna's 3rd birthday,}

Oh Sienna,

A little over three years ago, daddy and I were waiting. We kept being told any day, any minute. Dr. McCracken, mommy's OB, and the wonderful woman who would deliver you, told me it was almost time- and we scheduled a day for your arrival.

I remember waiting to be admitted to the hospital. There was a couple across from us waiting, too. Their second baby. Now I know what that feels like too. I can remember the smell of the room. I remember my sweet nurse. I remember telling myself then and there to bring my own Gatorade next time.

I was ready. I thought I was ready, anyway. For a first baby, you came pretty quickly. And when you arrived, they marveled at your full head of hair- and how you managed to be all curled up inside, giving us the impression you would be smaller than you were. Seven Eleven. The nurse guessed your weight perfectly.

And on that day, three years ago, I became a mama. And you became mine. Three years has gone by so fast it makes my head spin. Your baby days feel like light years behind us. And yet, if I close my eyes I can distinctly feel your body against my chest nursing after your naps at 10 months old. I can remember your sweet chubby cheeks and your baby giggle so very clearly. Three is SO good. I love that you're still such a cuddler. Into my arms, into my body, you want to be close to us. It's endearing and beautiful and I know it will be come more rare as time moves on. You're stubborn and you know what you want- I hope that never fades (just be polite while doing it). You are a fantastic learner.

Your big blue eyes and crazy hair of head are your own. You wear them well. You choose pajamas most days over clothes. You choose giving me and daddy one last hug before we leave for work over finishing your game. You choose ice pops over dinner. I am so in love with you little bug. You're a tremendously good big sister. You love and look out for Piper already. The night before I left our house to have Piper,  I kissed you goodnight and sang to you until you fell asleep. I knew it was our last night with you as our only one. I just couldn't imagine (after a few weeks of adjustment) how perfectly you and Piper would go together. It seems, that you, me, daddy, and Piper were meant to be a family. And I love that you include all of us when you say we are "best friends forever".

Happy Birthday to my carousel loving, sweet, talkative, empathetic girl. I love you to pieces, Sienna Grace Walls.

The things I love about you: Volume I: Sienna

(Almost) three year olds can be hard at times. But lately, I've been making a concerted effort day in and day out to focus on the positives of my kids. I feel fortunate they are mostly healthy, sweet, happy girls. Why do we so often focus on the negatives of our kids? I am guilty of it- I am tired when one doesn't sleep, frustrated with tantrums. But I want to celebrate them too. I want them to know what gems of people they are. I want them to know I see the best in them, even on the hardest days.

So here we go. This list is dedicated to you, Sienna.
In two weeks you will be THREE (!!!) years old. And here's what I love about you.

1. Your cheesy cheesy smile.

2. Your sweet singing voice (current favorite song you sing: "Everyone gets hurt sometimes... from, Doc McStuffins)

3. You are daringly adventurous. Jumping off of couches and into snow.

4. Your blue eyes that get so wide if someone else is upset. You can't teach empathy. But you've got it, baby girl. You care so much and it's written all over your face.

5.  The way you hug- with your whole body and your whole heart.

6. The way you ask "May I" when you want to do something- but also misuse the phrase and say "May you" also.

7. Your excitement that becomes palpable and infectious. You shake your arms in the air and jump up and down and squeal and you get so excited that you can barely get your words out.

8. Your love for pajamas. It makes me laugh. All day every day, you'd wear them if you could.

9. The sponge that is your brain. Curious is a vast understatement for someone like you. You are a fierce learner- you want to know everything. You ask so many questions a day and then the next day you surprise me with your knowledge. My current favorite thing you learned is that recycling is "to take trash and make something brand new and useful".

10. How adorable you are when you convince me to let you sleep on the couch for a nap- and then cuddle up under a blanket 10x the size of you.

11. Your ability to make everyone around you smile and engage people. We could be at Starbucks and you are asking the man in front of us what coffee he is drinking, or where his kids are (awkward at times), or introducing yourself to a new friend at the park.

12. That when we ask what your name is you say "Sienna Grace Walls" and call daddy "JAMIE WALLS!" when he doesn't answer you the first time.

13. Your creativity. It blows my mind that at not even three you can pretend you're on a boat to Disney world or a space ship, or that there are crocodiles chasing us in a river. It's dreamy to have a kid whose imagination runs as wild as mine.

14. Your hair. It just - I cannot stop laughing at it. It's beautifully wild and thick and all over the place. We can't get control of it- sort of perfect for you. 

15. The way you love your baby sister. The way you run to get her after naps and tell her it's okay when she cries. It makes me tear up thinking about it. You're SUCH a good big sister.

16. The way we are connected at the heart- you are truly my mini me. You feel as strongly as I feel. You smile as big as I smile. You cry as hard as I cry. Sensitive by nature, you let life happen and take it all in.

17. You've become my shopping buddy. Shoes? Yes. Clothes? YES! Toys- of course. You willingly scramble to get on your shoes and jacket, request a starbucks stop (sure kiddo), and say "Let's go to the circle store!" Target is our fav place to spend money together.

18. Your love of books. Stories will take you everywhere.

19. The way you light up when I mention birthdays- because they involve cake. And that you insist on making a cakes for every.single.birthday there is!

20. You are kind. You are so so kind. You ask daddy if he would like a sticker too. You hold my hand. You ask what's wrong if I'm looking tired or sad. You make get well cards for neighbors who aren't well without being prompted.

21. Your honesty. The words "Mommy you look awful" or "Today Piper peed on her changing table when you at work mommy" are so much more hilarious from a toddler. I love it. Keep me updated, kiddo.

22. The way you love your daddy. You fly into his arms after work, and you my girl, prove to me over and over again I married the right guy.

23. Your laugh that makes you almost topple over.

24. Your love of "crafts". You + Me + AC Moore forever. I think one day I'll teach you to scrapbook.

25. Your personality emerges more and more every day. I love you because you make me a better mom, a better person, and you bring me back down to earth when I'm getting wound up about silly things. Something about your sweetness and innocence reminds me everything will be okay.

XOXO,

MAMA

Two peas in a pod.

It's happening. That time when I look back at pictures of when Sienna was smaller and get teary. The time when I feel like I blinked and P morphed from a newborn into a playful infant. It's no secret to anyone who knows me that the tiny baby days are a challenge for me- the lack of sleep, the loss of control, the unexpected. It never was my thing. But still, time is so fleeting. It's always a push and pull. It's like I am wishing away the two hours before bedtime while not wanting the day to end. I'm hoping P talks early so she and Sienna can converse for hours, but not wanting her to grow a single inch more.

Lately, I realize they are both coming into their own in different ways. Piper is five months- and six to ten months was my favorite baby time period with Sienna. Sienna is almost three (cue tears- seriously) and is the sweetest, funniest toddler I know.

And the BEST part? They are really, really starting to enjoy each other. Their smiles are infectious. Sienna insists on being the one to get Piper from her nap (she goes in and says in her high voice, "Hiiii Piper. Good morning! You have a good little nappy"). Piper smiles and laughs at Sienna. When Sienna is around, Piper can't eat because she is too distracted and just becomes so intrigued. They are already becoming best friends, I can tell. Piper prefers two things in life: To be carried on mama's hip and to be watching her big sis.

Sometimes Miss Sienna needs some mama time. Like on Saturday morning. So we bungled up (her word for bundle) in our fuzzy boots and we set out for Target to pick up some things for the house-- and girlfriend insisted we go shoe shopping. I could not love her anymore.But when we came home? She needed to get Piper up from her nap, hold her for awhile, and then play with her. Their hearts are tied, I can just imagine our future: the giggles and whispers coming from their room at night as Jamie and I tell them for the 20th time they need to go to sleep.

Sometimes, once in awhile, when I stop and take it all in instead of rushing around to get things done, I feel like we're in a movie. Smiling family. Happy babies. Dancing in the kitchen. It doesn't happen every day, but when it does it's lovely. My mind is full of still frames from the perfect moments.

Sienna says..

After falling down and hitting her elbow, S usually yells mommmyyyy.
Today?  My mom was with her.
And she said "I need to go wake up Piper to make it better! She's my buddy!"

Heart. Melted.

10 Things I'll do differently with Baby #2.

Last time I had a newborn, I was a new mama. I had no idea about the joy, or the worry, or the countless other emotions that come with having your own tiny little being come home with you from the hospital for the first time. I think we did a pretty good job- we tried our best.  But looking back there are things that I think could have.  And things I'll try to do this time. I say try because we all know what life with a newborn looks like.

1. Pumping: I was so engorged and everyone told me not to pump because I'd produce more milk. That statement was correct- but turns out I needed more milk! Those first few months my supply waxed and waned and I was joyous on the nights I leaked and had too much milk. So I'll pump earlier on if I am engorged. It will be relief and also help me start building my supply and the freezer supply.

2. Nursing in the evenings: I tried really hard to nurse on demand, but between the hours of 6pm and 10pm I often got frustrated. In my mind, if I could hold Sienna off another half hour between feedings I'd have a little more milk and she would be more full. I need to go with the cluster feeding in the evening, especially if it means less screaming from the baby. And there's that supply thing too.

3. Saying no to guests: I was bad at this. ONCE I said no but made Jamie say no for me. This time, if you text or call and I'm crying or nursing and it isn't a good time for a visitor- I will say no. This means at the hospital too. That time is so precious and so exhausting and sometimes the best thing is to have no one bothering you (except you mom, you're welcome anytime).

4. Saying YES when people ask if I need anything: Since becoming a mom, I make every attempt to help my mom friends when their newborns come. I shoot a text saying I'm dropping off dinner. I bring over little presents for the siblings. I throw their dishes in the dishwasher if they are in the sink. Last time when people asked, I would always say I was fine. This time? Yes, please bring me a frozen dinner. Yes, you can indeed throw that load of baby clothes in the washer. Yes, you can take Sienna outside for a half hour. Yes, to whatever you are offering.

5. Not letting it all fall on me: I was under the impression with Sienna that because I was nursing anytime she cried it was totally up to me to make her stop. Jamie was (and is) the best dad and offers continuously to help anytime I need it. I am determined this time to hand her off at 4am if I have already nursed the baby and she's still crying. I'm determined to go take a long hot shower while my dad offers to sing the new little one to sleep when she's fussing. It's too much to do it all alone, and I still struggle with that daily with Sienna. This time, I hope to start off on a better foot.

6. Be more gentle and kind to myself: I beat myself up last time if I ended up a bawling mess when Sienna was crying, or if I was so tired I couldn't see straight. This time, I know it's coming. The crazy hormonal crash after the joy. The feelings of Oh god what did we do... And I know that my mom friends will text or call me back saying, "it's so normal". I also think that due to a few close friends going through it, I will be better prepared to know what is normal vs PPD/PPA and make sure to deal with it if it comes my way.

7. Getting out of the house sooner: I don't mean heading to the club. I mean heading to Target without fearing the newborn will wail. Because she might- but she will be fine and so will I. Taking a shower and walking outside with Sienna to play, going to the grocery store. I might need help, but moving instead of just sitting has always been a good thing for me- no matter what it is that's difficult at that point in life. This shouldn't be any different. And I can take 3 minutes to shower, even if it means frizzy hair, because it makes me feel like more of a person.

8. Taking more photos with me in them: I don't care if I look tired and bleary eyed. I don't care if my hair is a mess- in 20 years I know 100% I will look back thinking I looked way better than I thought. And probably way better than in 20 years.

9. Showing up to groups- breastfeeding, play, whatever before 6 months: Social support has been my #1 gift as a mom. My mom, my friends. My closest mama friend is moving this week (tears) and I know that I will need others to hold me up and share my joys. Since we are keeping our amazing nanny on, there's no reason I can't kick myself out of the house at 8 weeks to get to the breastfeeding groups at the hospital or show up to a 2-4 month old parents as teachers playgroup. Never know where a new good mama friend is lurking. And no one judges if you show up in yoga pants and non-matching shoes. While I'm at it, making sure to thank my friends who support me, whether it be via text or phone calls or showing up with lunch.

10. Be less crazy about sleep (Sarah! don't laugh at me, I said TRY!): This is kid #2. There will be days car naps are necessary. There will be days when I will likely be nursing #2 when #1 wants breakfast and we have to take a break. Sleep is my biggest source of anxiety as a parent, probably because S thrives on good sleep and is so cranky when she doesn't get it- true for all kids but especially true for her. I am going to try to relax. I am going to remember that sleeping "through the night" means 5-6 hours, not 12. I am going to remember that this baby will be happy and loved, and while I will 100% still keep her on a schedule when possible, the days of nazi sleep mom may have to be relinquished. Someone remind me of this when I am texting people at 4 am saying that this is it and I am running away to a convent. 

I'm hoping this will make for an easier newborn transition for me and for the new baby. 10 weeks to go until we try all of this out!

(Then again... doesn't look like we did so bad, right?)

Taking it in...

We took Sienna to a pool party Sunday. She woke up an hour into her nap, which was pushed way late, screaming. She managed, between sobs, to tell me she needed milk and for me to rock her in her chair. The glider was going to be moved to the baby's room but each time I consider it,  I end up with a situation like this and think my pregnant back and legs are glad we've got somewhere to cuddle up.

I took my girl in my arms, wrapped in her "auntie sarah" blanket, with her two lambie lovies (carefully given the names"old" baba and "new" or "soft" baba), and pulled her into me. I rocked her until the tears stopped, after some milk and singing. I kissed her head and her soft now-dry pool hair. I usually get annoyed by these mid nap fits, but not yesterday. Yesterday I curled up with her, put the blanket over us, and closed my eyes. She must have sensed my calm because she molded into me, her head on my chest as if she was a newborn again, but this time her feet reaching over the ends of the glider sticking out from her blanket. She fell into a deep sleep- I breathed in with her and felt her little heart beat on mine. For over an hour, we napped together, cuddled in her chair, just like when she was a newborn.  When she woke up, she looked up at me and closed her eyes again. She said "hi mommy" through her heavy eyelids. Then, realizing she did not want to have nap time anymore, she hopped up and said "Go downstairs and play?"

And just like that, my sweet cuddly moment was over.

These days, the toddler days, aren't always easy. I find myself doing internal checks, sometimes by the minute, to keep my cool. I find myself searching for patience that by evening has left the building sometimes.  I don't think they are the terrible twos- just the trying toddler moments. I know she wants control. I know she is seeking my attention and approval.  I have to call my mom or text my mom friends and ask if feeling crazy is normal by the end of some days. I need to take a deep breath and realize I may lose a night of sleep or get a few more grey hairs or even have days when we both end up in tears, but overall we are really lucky to have such a great kid.  And, I'm doing my damn best to be a really good mom. Because kids need that.

Maybe, just maybe, if I can just curl up and smell that sweet little one, take more small moments out of my day, and give her just a few more minutes of cuddles, we will both be better off. The days are slow, but the years are fast. I'll miss this, I know I will...

Two years old.

Four weeks old.

Baby Girl 2.0 Wish List & Favs

We have been lucky enough to be slowly gifted a few things over the past months. And I have an amazon wish list that helps me to just keep track of what we need. I came up with this: We do need some new things (and pregnancy brings out the biggest shopping bug in me), and we don't need a LOT of things we already have.

 

Favorite items so far for the new little chick:

 

 

1. Prince Lion Heart Wipes Warmer : The first time around, we didn't get one. But I remember the screaming diaper changes all too well. We are going to give this a go. And at $20 it certainly is not a huge splurge to comfort our girl.

 

2. Plush Changing Cover: Picked this up at Target on a whim. Sienna still has a few we can use, but since we aren't going all out on the nursery a nice white changing pad (I think we will get a bright pink one too..) seemed like a good choice.

 

3. Ergo Infant Insert: Sienna lived in the bjorn and people are always saying its not best for their legs/hips. We got the ergo after a few months with her and loved it. So here's hoping the infant insert makes our next little lady all cuddly & comfy. I highly recommend a baby carrier and Ergo is by far our favorite of our slew we bought with S.

 

4. Tommee Tippee Newborn Bottles: Because Sienna's bottles were used and abused and we need new ones. These bottles were our go to no fail. Sienna was breastfed from day one until she was over 13 months but when I was at work, or when I needed to be away, these were our go to. If you're nursing, these are great bottles to try.

 

5. Carter's Crib Sheet: Again, we are not doing a whole nursery. Just revamping the guest room a bit, so wanted a splash of bright pink in the room. I also got a pink and white polka dotted sheet.

 

6. Zen Weighted Swaddle: My friend Kelly gifted this one to us. We were big fans of swaddles for Sienna, and this one has the best reviews. It's lightly weighted in the places mom holds baby so when you put them down they still have the same pressure. One mom who reviewed this was a self-proclaimed "swaddle hoarder" and said this did the best for her kiddo's sleep. Bring it on!

 

7. Koala Baby Romper: She's due the end of August. Sienna was born in Feb. We needed some really light clothes in case it is really hot. Also Koala baby has always been an affordable but super soft brand.

 

8. Circo Crib Skirt with Navy Trim: Pink sheets but a white and navy skirt will perfectly compliment the guest room. I'll have to do another post on the full transformation of guest to nursery and guest room, but this fits great and was a great on sale target find (I think I paid $9.99 instead of $19.99).

 

9. Carter's Newborn Sleeper: We have quite a few sleepers from Sienna, but this one is right up my alley of the unisex colors I love for little ones. So cute, calm, and giraffe.

 

Wish list for the new little chickadee:

 

 

1. Child Craft Crib: Last time we I insisted that we need a Restoration Hardware crib. This time? No. Just no. Sienna loves her crib and we could transition her to the toddler bed but I am not ready to force her out. So we are going for a more affordable, yet verrrry similar to PB Kids crib.

 

2. Etsy Pillow Cover; I just love this and it ties together the bright pink and navy color scheme.

 

3. Large Rustic Wooden Letter: Though we cannot decide on her name, once we do I want a big huge wooden letter with her first initial to hang over her crib. I feel like it will make the space hers.

 

4. Anthropologie Drawer Pulls: I want to spruce up Sienna's old changing table to match the new room. I love these but they would sort of be an unneeded splurge, hence staying on the "wish list" for now.

 

5. Teething Necklace: This is for mama to wear while nursing/holding the little one. Sienna broke a solid amount of my necklaces last time I had an infant. I hope this helps that process (and it looks cute too!)

 

6. Wall hanging: I sort off love the mix of bright colors and the message. But, I think if we do the large letter we may skip out on this since the other wall hangings in that room are oil paintings from Italy and Greece and pretty simple.

 

7. Waterproof Crib Cover: I mean just for obvious reasons. S doesn't sleep with one anymore and I think I threw hers out. I actually think that the best these things ever did was prevent vomit from getting on the mattress, so they have many uses!

 

8. Baby Jogger City Select Double Stroller: This is a BIG wish list item. I have a few friends with this double stroller who swear by it. And Sienna is obsessed with strollers right now for some reason so the option of kicking her out of hers and/or using the board won't work yet. But we may get the board that attaches as she gets older and wants to jump on and off more.

 

9. Newborn Boppy Lounger: I have a fear Sienna is going to accidentally step on or trip over the baby when she is running around like a crazy person. But I want the little one to have some floor time. I feel like this is a really good option- and also for putting her (in the middle of) my bed in the mornings when I'm getting dressed and S is watching some cartoons.

 

There you have it, what I think we need for Baby Girl 2.0. If anyone has any other brilliant suggestions, we are always open to new ideas! XO

 

26. Some people call this third tri...

Well, we rounded the corner of the 26th week on Friday.  This weekend was full of fun and I am still feeling pretty good. I am sort of dreading the really hot summer days of late pregnancy and taking in all the glorious breezy spring moments of this that I can. Saturday we had a BBQ with my fam and on Sunday I trekked to Brooklyn on the most gorgeous sunny spring day to see Sarah for the day. A wonderful weekend and now back to reality.

Weeks: 26.5ish. This photo was on Friday during torrential downpour rain, hence the Hunter boots and leggings. S and I also wore rain coats and hoods and our day included stomping in puddles.
Feeling: Pretty good and like this is the height of the glory days. I am having major major insomnia right now which means I feel sleepy when I wake up in the morning. I've added an iced tea or half caf coffee to my routine which helps pep me up. But sometimes on days I'm home with Sienna nap time sounds ever so inticing.
Belly:  Well it's there. No one would question me being pregnant. And sometimes it moves with the little lady now.
Movement: It is so crazy but I never remember Sienna moving like this. It feels almost constant with this kid, and she lets me know if I'm in a position she doesn't like by squirming around until I move. Her favorite time of the day to move around is late morning and late night. Sienna can feel the kicks now and every time she feels baby says "Baby is coming out!!!"
Craving: Sweets still, darn it. Trying to curb the craving but a soft cookie is my best friend. But also savory. I could live on mozz cheese, tomatoes, avocado, and some delish balsamic vinegar (and maybe some bread).
Gender: Girly girlfriend. We are reading the sisters book nightly to Sienna.
Other symptoms: Braxton hicks still holding on strong. Two days ago during nap time I had about 4 in two hours, the most yet. But they never get worse and they are super sporadic so not too concerned. Some annoying ligament pain and leg pain, which is par for the course at this point. Also noticing weight gain in places other than the belly- guess the hips are prepping to do their thing. UGH. Still hot all the time.
Random thoughts: Glucose test this Friday. Last time I did the orange and almost barfed. This time I'm thinking I'll try the fruit punch- my OB said it's less syrupy. Any suggestions? 

25 weeks.

Soooo... how did we get this far? No one would mistake me for not pregnant at this point. Not even me, which was happening a lot before! But this tummy is growing and it's getting more real every day.

Weeks: 25
Feeling: Pretty good physically. Tired as usual ha! But not bad.  Guilty that I can't carry Sienna as much, but it hurts my back and I feel ligament pain if I pick her up too quickly. Oh and super emotional. Crying at everything.
Belly:  Feels huge and heavy, but I am no fool- I know I have a loooong way to go.
Movement: Tons. Jabs and kicks and punches.
Craving: Uh oh, sweets. I never had sweets craving with Sienna that I remember. But, on the plus side, salad is the other craving with home made Italian dressing. So that's good. Also, a good strong cocktail would be welcomed.
Gender: Still a girl haha! We really need to talk names soon. What goes well with Sienna?
Other symptoms: Braxton Hicks like crazy. Every few hours, sometimes a few an hour. I am hoping that it is like last pregnancy when they meant I was slowly prepping and can walk into delivery for a quick 4 hour turn around. And I'm hot ALL THE TIME. At night I find myself checking the thermostat. I am in such big trouble for summer.
Random thoughts: Baby #2 needs to get some of her own things, so this morning Sienna and I went shopping. Maternity shorts are not as bad as I thought.

On having girls...

We found out about a month ago that we are having another girl. The joy of having a sister is one I only experienced through my long-time best friends, but never through blood. Never through growing up trying on each other's shoes and giggling when we should be sleeping. I hope that my girls will grow together, though I'm sure they will be different. I hope they cheer each other on in sports, and feed each other Ben & Jerry's after a break up. I hope they are fiercely protective of eachother, but also kindly competitive. In short, I'm really excited for Sienna to have a sister and vice versa. 

But, this thing happened. Since we found out we were having a girl, everyone feels it's okay to ask right away; are you having a third? You're still young, you can try for that boy. Two girls? I feel sorry for Jamie. Facebook (I deleted the comments, they are not funny to me), real life, people seem to have no idea that's sort of a harsh question/statement. It's like asking if we are sad we are getting this new child. When I found out I was having a girl the first time, I got cards. I got cute bows. This time? Nothing. Maybe this is just a product of baby #2? I don't expect gifts to roll out in front of me. But recognition of a new little girl coming into our lives would be nice. A HUGE thank you to my sweet friend Sarah and little Morgan for sending us a sisters book. The little gesture made a huge difference to me. It's nice to know that it can be a joy- and Sarah has a little sister herself so she for sure knows all the ups and downs of sisterhood. 

This morning, I saw this article posted on facebook. Of course having girls is somewhat different than having boys. There is that whole anatomy and hormones and puberty thing. But really, there is no reason having a girl limits the fun or the gross (S is currently obsessed with worms) that comes with having a boy. I love how succinctly he puts it- life is pretty wonderful.

And the same goes for my mama friends with all boys- it's just a gender. It doesn't define who they are. Hopefully, if we are all good kind parents, that will hopefully define them far more than what color newborn hat they get in the hospital.

So stop asking if we are having more kids just because we will have two girls;  for now we are grateful for a healthy looking babe who has a heart that's pumping well and good kidney function and a brain that looks fantastic. That's not sarcasm- it's true. Thankful for health, excited for what this new little one will bring to our lives. If she's anything as much as a spitfire as Sienna, we will have a highly entertaining next 18 years.  So here's to my two girls- I can't wait for you two to adventure through life together.

Sienna holding her worm friend. See, girls can like dirt and bugs too.

22 weeks and counting.. Also we are going to DISNEY WORLD.

This weekend marked 22 weeks. Do second pregnancies always go faster than first pregnancies? The days are flying by and I find myself having to think hard about what we need and what we don't. When we first found out we were having a girl, I was soooo organized and started to go through clothes. That hasn't happened since that week. I guess that's what summer is for, right? I also realized that a lot of my non maternity stretch dresses are the PERFECT solution to in between super preggo and non preggo. This one in the photo below is a cheapy Old Navy purchase from the fall after I had Sienna. Pays to keep things around!

Weeks: 22
Feeling: Stilllll tired. Another been there before mama told me recently that the second trimester energy surge doesn't happen once you already have a kid at home. This is true so far, but I still feel far better than trimester one. And more excited too.
Belly:  In the words of my friend Sarah, people would likely offer me a subway seat now. I'm loving being out of the weird stage and onto the actual pregnant belly.
Movement: Tons. A lot is straight down. It wakes me up. If the cat lays on my belly and purrs, she moves so much more. It's so nice to be into the "I can feel her moving and know she's doing okay in there" stage.
Craving: With Easter passing, jelly beans (eek) were this week's craze. But generally still hanging in there with my fruit, veggie, and cheese desires. Meat still isn't big on my list. But I did have a delish grilled burger this weekend that hit the spot.
Gender: Girly girl and Sienna thinks her name should be "Minnie". Sometimes "Sarah".
Random thoughts: Excited for another ultrasound on Weds. They need to check my placenta but as far as I'm concerned just another chance to see the little one in there!

Other thoughts include: Was I crazy to book a trip to Disney pregnant with a toddler? It's going to be 90 degrees. Send water and prayers. And advice. And any recommendations for good comfy sneakers. Wish us luck!

 

Sienna + Stella

About two years ago, I wrote this post. We took the seven (turned into nine with a baby) drive to Boston to meet Stella. It blows my mind that we decided to trek that far with a six week old, but looking back, I am SO glad we did. Two days without sleep and with a fussing infant in the car was worth it. In fact, maybe this is just rose colored glasses, but I sort of remember Sienna being an angel on that trip.

I didn't know it, but keeping our girls close from day one would pay off. Some of their first words were each other's names. If you ask Sienna who is going to sleep in her room, she always says Stella (they have never had a same room sleep over but alas...) They literally light up when they see each other. They clap and squeal and chase each other around. Sienna's lovie is fondly known as BaBa (a lamb) while Stella's is Ooh (a monkey). When they find the other's lovie, they walk run to give it to the other one, saying "awww" as they go.

Sienna's getting a sister, and I know she will have the most loving, tumultuous at times, close knit relationship with her. But a cousin is different. You don't have to share parents or share attention. You just share your best moments. Your hilarious endless laughter. I am forever, forever grateful we made that trek when Stella was born. I will always cherish the baby and toddler moments these two girls had together. I smile when I think about our adventures. They are only two and already we've taken them to upstate NY together, Avalon, New Hampshire, a bazillion drives from Yardley-Wilmington-Bel Air, and up next is Disney. When they are together, the world feels right. It's silly and cliche, but it's true. While Stella walked early, Sienna was still tumbling over. When Sienna was drawing nice circles, Stella was throwing crayons. They are so different but they are like puzzle pieces that were meant to be together.

Sienna, treasure your cousin. She will have childhood memories of you that no one else will-- not even your new sister in these first few years. She will stand up for you and love you and know that even when your parents act crazy, it's for a good cause. 

To a friendship that as far as I can tell, was always meant to be. I love you girls.

Here's a timeline of my favorite photos of the BFFs.