How did that 6 weeks disappear?

In the throes of week 2 of parenthood, my days were all melding together. I didn't know which way was up. And suddenly those days seem so long ago! 6 weeks have (almost-Monday is 6 weeks) passed and this week I return to work. I hate the thought of going back but I know I need to do it for now. Come September, I am hoping I'll be part time and can spend more time with my little one. Sienna now holds onto my shirt when I carry her around the house and it is something so small but it makes me melt and I am jealous that the nanny and my mom will get those moments instead of me!

She is changing SO much every day! I was walking through Babys R Us (a weekly or daily visit) and saw a little tiny infant. I asked how old she was, and the mom said 15 days. She looked half the size of Sienna. I can't believe how big she looks to me now! We started to get our first REAL smiles this past week, around 5 weeks old! We got a few in the 4 week time, but now there is no doubt she is smiling when she does it. She loves to stare at mommy and daddy (and sometimes the wall or the fan or the window still) and it is so rewarding to have an interactive smiling face greet me after our morning feeding.

We are getting in a more normal sleep pattern too. It is not by any means perfect, but we made the move from our room to her room for sleep times. She seems to sleep longer because I'm not picking her up with every noise she makes and mama and dada don't wake up to every single little grunt. We have a video monitor, so of course I wake up and peek at it all the time to make sure all is well. She is starting to sleep from the time we go to bed (around 10:00) until 2 or 3 am, and last night went back to sleep from 4 to 7:30! It was amazing, but I realize probably won't be the norm for awhile!

We love our little one and really are amazed at how much she is growing. Today I picked her up and she actually felt heavy. I weighed her (you know, weighed me first, then her with me- and prayed she didn't pee on me) and the scale told me she is almost 10 pounds! That's some major progress from the beginning days of not gaining enough weight!

We are really looking forward to continuing to enjoy Sienna growing, changing, and of course becoming more interactive with us. She is so fun, and my heart hurts that on Monday morning I will have to leave her. But I do love what I do and am lucky to have supportive coworkers. Sienna and I will both survive, I guess!

Happy Weekend! Here's some recent photos of our little love:

Sienna will now go in the Baby Bjorn!

Mornings with Mama

Morning nakey time on the bed!

"My daddy is the FUNNIEST there is!!"

Baby Days

Sienna will be one month old on Tuesday! Time is flying by but also seems like the day she was born was forever ago! It is crazy how the days meld into one, and yet are individually so different.

I'm more in love with her each day and when she gives me any sort of semblance of a smiley smirk I melt. Jamie and I are still learning more and more about her- what makes her happy, what makes her give us those little smiles (they aren't full on yet, but we are getting there), and how to get her on the best "routine" we can to make her happy. She loves bath time, walks in her stroller, trips in the car, and she even has made her way to Target, Starbucks, and Marshall's with mommy! Okay, fine, this may have been a bigger feat for mommy than Sienna!

I have only two full weeks of maternity leave left and my heart hurts about that, but luckily I have a great husband and a great mom who are both so wonderful and will be taking care of the little one those first few days back. But Sienna and I have worked out a schedule together that seems to get her to eat, sleep, and smile... and I don't want her to lose that- or her cuddle time with mommy at 2pm when both of us can't keep our eyes open and end up on the couch or bed snoozing together.

She is growing every day! She is really sweet and happy most of the time. We play during the day and she's beginning to focus on things, especially people's eyes. She also loves the sunlight and always turns her head towards it when she's on her changing table. At night time we've been having some fussy time- totally normal for babies, but I think it may be due to some tummy issues and reflux. We have our one month appointment with the pediatrician Tuesday so will ask. I don't want her to be in pain!

She has seen more and more of her family members and lately has spent some good quality time with her grandparents, she's met her great grandmas on mommy and daddy's sides, her great aunt Sue, her cousin Kimmy, and some of her Yardley family. She also has met some of mommy's AXO sorority sisters who fondly refer to themselves as aunties. She is so lucky to have so many people who love her.

We are loving having visitors now and find it much easier to navigate the whole visitings/feedings thing... And Sienna is (usually) amused by all the voices and noises. She's a trooper. We're lucky.

Back to the world of the baby! xoxo

whirlwind weeks

Sienna is over 3 weeks old now... and we are all still figuring each other out! It is a lot of just trying new things each day and seeing how she does!

I've learned that I can live on about 3-4 hours of sleep per day and still function. I've learned that some days skipping a shower is worth avoiding the screaming tears from the little one. I've learned that I can eat lunch one handed- and left handed. I've learned Jamie and I can pretty much handle anything thrown at us (even when it is 2 am and I look in the mirror and think it's a goooood thing no one else can see me in that moment. I've learned not to put Sienna down when she is still moving her arms, even if she looks sleepy because she is not. I've learned sometimes babies just cry, no matter what you do (I hate this lesson, it makes me sad when she cries!) I've learned being a mom is the hardest and best job there is. And I have become more and more and more thankful for my mom every day, both for her help with the little one but also am able to appreciate what being a mom is all about. I've learned my friends love my daughter like she's their own and that it makes my heart happy. And each day I learn a little more about my new little one. Today the lesson is this: thrush is the worst- for mama and baby- and the diaper rash that comes with it makes babies scream. ouch. google it if you don't know about it- or don't-  it's probably better not to!

The little one is taking a quick snooze now before it's time to eat again and any minute I'll hear her little squeaks and grunts and need to grab her, so off to do the laundry (because you know, this morning Sienna decided to pee on our bed- she just was trying to spice up our day here).

Sorry for the blog silence- taking care of baby is literally a 24 hour a day job! xoxo

First Walk!!!

Cuddling with my loves!

She's here!!

Sienna Grace arrived on February 20th at 3:08pm!!

Labor and delivery was really not bad and when little Sienna got here I forgot the pain and was so overwhelmed by her and how quickly I fell in love- and how absolutely amazed I was that J and I made this gorgeous little baby.

It's been 8 days now and I'm still in an absolute daze (I apologize to anyone I have not emailed or called back) both from emotions and the 4 hours of sleep I've accumulated in those 8 days! We are all tired but in love. Seeing J with Sienna makes my heart do leaps and bounds. I can't ask for a more supportive husband. And a big thanks to our families, especially my mom who has been amazing at making sure I eat drink and shower. We are infinitely lucky to have so much love in our life with our new little member of our family- and for the friends and family who have poured out their love to us over the past week.

And since really all you want is pictures... here are some favs.

That's all for now! holding baby in one hand makes typing hard!

love from Sienna!! xoxo

Nursery Finished!

Loving our nursery and it's all ready for baby. If only baby was ready to be here. Wanted to share the "finished" product. I say finished because we all know around here there are always little things to be tweaked in rooms, paint to be touched up, more shelves or book cases to add... 

I know I know, we can't have bumpers once we have baby but they look pretty. There is also an adorable dust ruffle for the crib which has yet to be ironed. Oops. See what I mean "almost" finished. Here she is, in all her glory, with some of my favorite details!



Love our RH crib & PB bedding close up!

Etsy Framed Art from my best friends, Embroidery hoops, Ikea mini vases.

Pottery Barn Kids Bedding, Restoration Hardware Crib,Ikea DIY quote Frames, Curta

Babys R Us Dressing Table with Anthropologie Pulls, Glider, Hamper, and previously owned pillow.

Love this pillow. Blanket from San Francisco from my parents visit there this summer.

Oh PB kids Chandelier, I adore adore adore you!

Overall room with focus on carpet, previously owned from Ikea

Tons of books for Baby Walls!

All we need to add is little baby girl walls!



Quilt hand-made by J's mom. Matches curtains and is so soft. We can't wait for baby to use this!

THON IS TOMORROW

Lately I've been super self-focused. Wondering about my body's signals, when baby will come. Thinking about how my lower back hurts in my chair at work. And yesterday a little notification popped up on facebook. Holly. Oh, Holly, you always bring me back to earth. Holly asked how I was, and let me know she was thinking of me. Holly became a new mama herself this year, and was just checking in.

You know how everyone says cancer sucks? Holly knows the true meaning. Last year I posted about how proud I am that this beautiful sweet young woman beat leukemia (screw you cancer) and is happy and married and living her life. But that same beautiful woman lost her mom to a nasty fight with pancreatic cancer that ended too soon. And it's not fair. It reminds me how precious life is and how important philanthropies like THON are.

We always say about THON, "THIS is what we mean when we say We Are Penn State". But oh, it's so much more. To me, this is what we mean when we say THON isfamily. It means that through facebook and emails I've kept in touch with the same "kid, now a grown up, who inspired me to dance for 48 hours. It means that little Clay's mom, whose first THON was when I was chair back in my senior year, commented recently on a sorority sister's facebook photo saying how they missed us. THON creates families, it creates a forever tie to this amazing fundraising cause. I'm so thankful for that. You can't explain THON. You can try to share it, but unless you were a part of it, you just can't get it. Maybe it's why THON means family. Because once you're a part of it, you're a part of it forever.

I remember that first year after graduation. I shed tears not only for the kids who lost their battles, and joyous ones for the money raised, but also because I felt I left a part of me at PSU with THON, and beig a graduated senior meant no more THON for me. Years later, I can look back and see that THON will forever be part of my life, that I can help by donating, and that the legacy lives on.

So here's my shameless plug. GO DONATE. HELP KIDS FIGHT CANCER. No child deserves to lose their battle- and our hope is that one day we won't have THON, because there will be no more battles.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE

And in case you are wondering, or want a quick cry, here's a video.

PS Dear Baby Walls, if you do happen to show up on THON weekend that's just fine with us. :)

Mixed Feelings and some Cinnamon Stick Tea

Last weekend, we brought Dexter to the adoption center at our vet's office. After a bazillion tears (which I have to admit are still randomly coming), we decided it was best. Our vet's office only takes a few cats at once, and will work with him to make sure he can calm down before he goes to a new home. Ever since we brought him in though, a wave of guilt and sadness have just been lurking around me. Despite the fact that he is a completely crazy feline, the adoption agency director assures me they are working with Dexter to help him calm down so they can find him a home. Still, my heart is broken over this.

And so I am trying to turn my attention to baby. Because that is happy and I know that Dex would have hated being in a house with a little newborn, it gives me a comforting feeling. But oh my goodness, where is baby? I am not overdue yet and know I shouldn't be so impatient. But on Friday the doctor said she'd be "shocked" if I made it through the weekend, and here we are on Wednesday. As the days go by I hope baby will arrive to help me snap out of feeling sort of blah.

In other baby progression attempts, my friend Laurie swore that cinnamon stick tea helped her induce labor. So at 6:00 am today, I was downstairs boiling water and mixing in cinnamon sticks. By the time I got to work, I had finished a huge mug and was hoping for the best. But so far, nothing. Nada. The doctors shouldn't tell you that you are going to go early if you are not... it is very frustrating.


(Mine did not look this pretty and I had to add brown sugar to stomach it)

 The other thing keeping me afloat is my super positive husband. He gave me a great birthday and Valentine's day and even brought home spicy pad thai, when I mentioned that spicy food might help. Ohhh and also- waiting for me- is a bag of 6 of my favorite wines for post baby. Yay! He also assures me daily Dexter will find a new home, that our baby is just waiting until she's ready, and that we will have a lot of happy times coming up in the near future.

So for now, I daydream about baby and also about summer. Maybe it's a mid winter funk. By June we will have a cute little baby, be spending some weekends in Rehoboth, and all will be well.

Wish us luck!

Last Cat Post: Cat Free to a GOOD non-cat home.

Sadly, this has to be the last cat post about the prozac and the crazies.  I know that once I write this and once we do what we need to do, my broken heart will no longer allow me to write funny blogs about them.

Last night, the cat fighting got worse. I was home alone, 38 weeks preg, and petrified. All I could think of in my head was, "what would happen if I was holding our infant?" The cats were separated but Internet managed to finagle his way through the door when I opened it and Dexter turned around and attacked. It was horrible, horrible, horrible. Imagine the worst cat noises you've ever heard times ten.

I managed to separated them by throwing a huge huge blanket over one and picking up the entire thing and almost tossing it down the stairs. I managed to chase Dex up the stairs into the guest room. They are still in their perspective spots this morning.

I called Jamie crying, because for the first time in a long time, I was scared that they would hurt me- or worse- baby. I pictured myself with a newborn infant in my arms- I couldn't have cat wrangled. They would never act like that when they are alone. They are sweet and purr and want to be held. And I adoooore these cats. What human being pays for vet bills, prozac, feliway refills ($70 a pop, last for less than a month), and deals with separation and closed doors of the house for their cats? Well, we did. But not anymore.

So when J came home last night, we discussed our options and this morning we called the vet. I have an intense fear he is going to tell me Dex needs to be put to sleep because he is sometimes unpredictable. But low and behold, this morning, in their own spaces, they are calm. And nice. They just hate living together. And that is so mean. It is like keeping two fighting spouses in an house and making them fight it out instead of divorcing after trying everything they can.

I love love love these animals, but I love my family more- so they have got to go.

ANYONE who knows of a good home with NO OTHER CATS (and preferably no babies since we don't know how they'd really react to that) please let me know. My heart is broken in a billion pieces and I have shed quite a few tears over my pets. But they need a new home, or at least one of them does. Living with another male dominant cat is not an option.

I think they'd do best in a home with just adults or even one older adult who needs some company. They love to cuddle and purr and be nice when they are just with humans, but add another cat in the mix and it just does not go well.

PLEASE someone help me find a home for these love bugs. They are good cats, they just are both dominant and can't be with other cats. We are willing to give away either of them if someone has a preference.

Help a pet lover out and find my guys a home. xoxo.

Ring redo take 2

Okay, so the reason the Target ring was $9 was because it was worth $4. Within two weeks, it started to tarnish. I could deal with that. Then it started to turn my finger green, juuuust a little. Fine. But this week it started to creep up my hand and turn my entire finger a weird shade of greenish blue.... not okay.

I went back to the drawing board.

I decided to wear my grandma's anniversary diamond ring she gifted me a few years ago. Now, I admit, it is a bit tight but as long as I take it off at the end of my work day, I am okay. And I remembered the first ring Jamie ever gave me. A green amethyst white gold ring with teeny diamonds on it. This ring was what made me fall in love with the concept of a cushion cut stone.

I sort of love this combo. Regular gold and white gold mixed with diamonds and green. Sigh, don't you love jewelry?

PS The stray cat came back this morning and sent our cats into a tizzy again. Jamie then effectively poured half a jar of our small cayenne pepper outside before work. We will see what happens....

Couldn't make this stuff up: Kindling.

I love my kindle. Love love love. It is the old school one, not the kindle fire. But the problem is the screen breaks. It's not just me either, I know a lot of people who have this issue.

But today on amazon chat, I encoutered Lizly (I don't get it- did her parents mean to name her Liz or Lilly??) and I couldn't help but laugh at our conversation.

Lizly asked me to trouble shoot, reboot, etc. It didn't work of course because anyone with two brain cells knows how to turn something on and off, plug it in, and then try again. When it still didn't work this was the rest of our convo:

Lizly:Oh, I'm sorry to hear that Meghan. Was this kindle a gift from someone?
Me:Yes,it was a gift two christmases ago. (expecting that they need to know the buyer)
Lizly:Nice.
Me: Yes, do you need to know who purchased it?
Lizly: Oh no, just wondering if it was a gift. That's nice.

Umm.... thanks Lizly. I think it was nice too, but if we can just get back to the whole sending me a new kindle, I'd appreciate that. I suggest you ask for Lizly if you want a laugh during your amazon live chat.

The end.