happytwoyears, husband.

*Fine, I'm 2 days late. We were on vacation.

Two years. Sometimes when I close my eyes I can imagine myself breathing in that cool fall day of our wedding. I can hear the laughter (and tears) that echoed in the bridal suite prepping for what would be one of the absolute greatest and most nostalgic days of my life. I can remember the way that satin dress fit like a glove, and how my dad's face lit up when he saw me for the first time in my gown. I can very clearly imagine my husband-to-be at the end of that aisle, soft smile, eyes bright, waiting for me to stand beside him and promise we'd continue to stand beside each other the rest of our lives.

Wedding Day.

We spent our first anniversary at Winterthur, dinner at Moro, and staying at Hotel Dupont sleeping in and grabbing room service breakfast wearing bathrobes. Fast forward a year. We spent the day with Sienna in upstate New York. Lunch out with the family and a stroll in the park where we showed S ducks and leaves and snapped photographs to preserve the memories of year two, and took a quick walk around the lake later in the day before sunset. Grandma and Grandpa put Sienna to bed, and we ended our evening with an amazing dinner at an eight table restaurant sans baby. Not quite the indulgent first anniversary, but every bit as sweet.

In the past year we've seen a lot. Visited friends in NYC and Philly in the fall. Lots of time OB's office through the fall and winter, of course. We took advantage of non-baby travel to Connecticut in the early winter. Showered wonderfully by the best friends and family we could imagine being surrounded by. Christmas had a new meaning. New life has never been such a close to home idea.  We woke up early and drove to see K + H open presents. New Years. Parenting classes (hilarious). Celebrated the idea of our niece Stella being on her way.  February 20, we learned what it means to be parents together. And while I realize there were another seven months in our year two, that moment, that day, deserves a bit of sit and let it sink in. Because, I never knew how much I would fall in love all over again. Not just with my daughter, but with my husband. He is everything anyone would ever hope a father would be. Loving, kind, even-tempered, calm, and brilliantly full of life when he's with S. And the time he puts in with her is legendary. He sees her in the mornings, he sees her at night. And if he misses a bed time, he's always the first one in her room in the morning. My husband, it turns out, is a dream come true father. The next few months slipped through our fingers. Sleepless nights, food ordered at the last minute when we are starving because we forgot to eat dinner, and a whole lot of love from our family... We celebrated St. Patrick's Day for the first time without my grandpa on hand to give us an Irish blessing, dressing S in green and hoping he'd be proud. The months began to fade and we fell back into the swing of things. Easter in Yardley. Half Marathon for J & Em. Union games. Broad Street Run. First mother's day. Visits with great grandparents. Memorial day at the beach. Weddings. Weddings. Weddings. Bridal showers. BBQs with friends. More trips to visit family. Back to fall. Trip to Seattle. More weddings. Trip to Saratoga Springs. And BAM- 2 years is gone in the blink of an eye.

I love you (x52) , Jamie. For being the best damn husband (and dad) I know. You'll always be my favorite.

2nd anniversary. Lake Saratoga.

West Coast Travels: Seattle!

If I could sum up Seattle in one word, it would be deceiving.

When we arrived and drove into town from the airport, it looked "industrial" to me. Almost desolate. No pretty flowers and parks. No twentysomethings anywhere in sight stumbling to and from bars. We were so tired when we arrived, we put baby S to bed, and crashed. Good thing- babies don't know time zones and day one we got a 4am wake up call. And we soon realized Seattle had a lot to offer.

FRIDAY

We stayed in the Lake Union area, which is apparently sort of up and coming (said my parents friends who is literally a tourism volunteer for Seattle). Walking around in the morning, we found the city to be quiet, not crowded, and were wondering where the "city" was. We took a stroll to the Space Needle, and then hopped on the monorail to jet across town (we skipped going up to the top of the tower since the babe was with us and neither of us were set on seeing the sights from up high. But, we hear eating at the restaurant up there is worth it). The monorail lets you off near Pike Place Market. We did indeed see the famous fish throwing guys! We also bought hand painted baby dresses and fresh fruit to eat while we strolled. S demanded lunch and on our way wandering down a cute little alley to get lunch, we stumbled across this tiny shop that sold... baby The Who t-shirts! We had to get one for S. We ate at The Pink Door on an outside terrace that overlooked the water. The tableclothes were different at each table and the outdoor deck was perfect. The food was fantastic, too. I would highly recommend the antipasto and the chicken panini. We walked along the streets back to the monorail and got swept into Cupcake Royale on the way back to the hotel. Our picks included a red velvet cupcake (amazing) and a Huckle Buckle (cupcake of the month) paired with Salted Caramel ice cream and one interestingly named Whiskey Maple Bacon Crack. After a filling day of exploration, we headed back to the hotel to prep for the night's wedding related Meet + Greet activities.  For starting out doubting this city, we found some gems on day one of exploring. [Cue Jamie singing "truly truly truly outrageous].

 

SATURDAY

Saturday was the wedding of our good friends. We hung out in the hotel in the morning and let S get a good nap in since we knew she'd be up a bit later and probably a little overwhelmed with the day. We saved our appetites for brunch at Serious Biscuit (aka Serious Pie). Best brunch ever. A mimosa to start for me, a very spicy chipotle bloody mary for J. My mama and I split the fried green tomato biscuit and the ham cheese & apple mustard biscuit. J and my dad splurged on the fried chicken biscuit, known as the Zach. So filling, so good. The mix of flavors was phenomenal. I'd go back again and again (but my jeans would NEVER fit then). Oh, and they had a great little high chair for S who sat and ate her own breakfast while flirting with the couple next to us.  I forgot my camera on this part of the journey, so I stole this photo from a review website. Bad blogger.

 

 

Saturday evening was the wedding. The ceremony was at Saint Marks and it was just breathtaking. Melissa  + Scott wrote part of their own vows. Really sweet. The reception was at what used to be a warehouse and now is the gorgeous Sodo Park . That's for a whole other post, but I'd give it the best dance party rating since our own wedding. Cheers + Congrats, guys!

 

SUNDAY

We joined the rest of the wedding partiers for brunch at the hotel on Sunday. This is not about Seattle, but about my friends. I adore them for many reasons but the most recent one? They love Sienna. Nothing makes my heart smile like one of my oldest friends holding my baby. Later that afternoon we explored the little Lake Union area in what turned out to be an incredibly gorgeous day. It boasted the cutest dock, The Center for Wooden Boats(on Thursdays free boat ride + story time for baby ones), and around the bend a plethora of on the water restaurants. Best of all was a huge grassy park for S to play in. It was actually full of families with small kids. A great find. Sunday evening we ventured back out to the same area and settled upon Chandler's Crab House. We were joined by one of my dad's close friends from college- I was thinking about all of my PSU friends and how I hope our families will meet up as we are in each other's cities years from now. The food was great. The seasonal salad + crab = major winner and the tuna tar tar was a close second. J had a scrumptious crab cake. Paired with a nice Washington sauv blanc, it was the perfect last Seattle meal.

 

 

We were impressed by a few things in Seattle- how friendly people are, how good the food is (and how fresh- both veggies and fish), and the eclectic nature of the city itself. If you're there, be sure to check out all the amazing food and explore- there's likely more than meets the eye!

{If we ever make it out to Washington again, we really want to take advantage of all the beautiful hikes and nature we hear about- but with a baby in tow and a wedding schedule to adhere to it just didn't happen. Always next time... }



Lists of Babyness

This fall we are taking some trips. One is a 5 hour plane ride. With a 7(!!!) month old. Lists are needed. This is just page one. We might need a bigger suitcase....

secrets....

One of my best friends is pregnant. It makes my heart do leaps and bounds and flips because I can't wait for S to have a little best friend. A year apart, Sienna will surely show s/he the ropes. As I crafted her an email tonight about all the necessities for a new mama, I realized something... this is such a new world I've been thrown into since S got here. I know what to tell new moms to get to save their sanity in the early days of breastfeeding.  I'm quite sure that my choices on burp clothes and swaddle blankets are stronger than those of the upcoming political races... I also know the important stuff: that the lack of sleep dissipates and the smiles continue to build. That you figure out how to be a mama without help after awhile (even if it means putting your baby in the shower with you because your hair needs to be washed today).

But.... it's a secret. Until you're there, until you're in the thick of it, there's no way to know. A right of passage. And no matter what your choices as a mom once you've passed the initiation; you're in.

Fall Wish List: The Post Partum Edition

So things are going slowly on the way to back to fitting into my fav jeans. We're making progress, but still have a little bit to go. And, let's face it, the bod is not what it used to be two falls ago. Things move when you have a baby. So here's an updated approach. Still fashionable, less skin tight fitting. As per usual, my desires range from cheap target/forever21 finds to my expensive drool worthy over one grand jacket. Here are my pics. Get your wallets  interwebs searching fingers ready.

 

Target Colored Skinnny Jeans $27.99 

(fine I already bought these, they were a steal!)

 Target Merona Cape Sweater $29.99

(secret: this sweater is "plus size" but I LOVED so I bought a small size& it's cape-like and not fitted at all)

GAP Terry funnel-neck sweater $49.95

GAP 1969 Leather Jacket $348

J Crew Honeycomb Wool Sweater Jacket $158

 

J Crew School Boy Blazer $198 

 

J Crew: Collection Shearling Trim Trench $1200. Yep. Sigh. 

F21 Chunky Striped Sweater $24.80 

F21 Sheer Square Print Shirt $19.80 

Eyelet Collar Top $17.80  

(how cute would this be with a brown blazer?)

 Anthropologie Given Then Gathered Column Dress $69.95

 Anthropologie Askew Ruffled Cardigan $88.00 

(after reading these reviews I am trying to stop my fingers from ordering online right.this.second)

Anthropologie Tiered Pointelle Sweater Dress $148.00 

 Anthropologie Gazette Loungers $78

(OMG look so comfy may never change out of them if I buy these)

Hoping that this fall (my favorite fashion season as it is) brings lots o f new mama style and don't worry next up is fall wish list, baby style. S has a better wardrobe than I do. Sorry Jamie, I'm starting her young ;)

 

Blankey.

I had blanket growing up, fondly referred to as "blanky". I brought it to college. When I moved in with J, I stored it under the bed. It lives in the closet of my daughter now, just in caseshe wants it some day. I should have known my daughter would quickly stake claim in her own.

From the time she was pretty little, I always nursed her while holding a blanket. It gave her something to grab with her scratchy finger nail clad hands (other than mama's chest). As time went on, it became apparent that one was her favorite. A little lamb lovey by Angel Dear.

Now, at nap and bed time, she holds it in her hands and rubs her little face in it. She yawns, sticks its nose in her mouth with her thumb, and puts her head down on my shoulder. Cute? Yes. Practical? Even more. No matter who puts her down for a nap, or feeds her a bottle when I'm not there to nurse, she holds lamby.  I bought three of the same ones last week. Now we can wash them and hopefully by the time she is old enough to "know" there is a special one, all three will smell the same and be worn out a bit.

 

We love you, lamby. Big time.

Stay at Home Mom

I can't help the anxiously excited feeling I have lately. I know this isn't permanent. A transient state of affairs in the Walls home. A three weeks so fleeting I won't be able to breathe it in wholy enough. Can it be possible? Did I make it through the past six months unscathed? Did Sienna survive nanny days, grammy days, and daddy days, us both yearning for the days when we could revert to nursing in my bed watching the morning news? She did. I did. And for a small window of time, there will be no juggling the baby while one parent showers and the other chugs down their coffee in between making funny faces. Sure, J still wakes Sienna up. But after that, she's mine. This won't last forever. But Friday, in the late afternoon, when I stepped out of the office fairwell luch after my last casual Friday, put on my sunglasses, and turned the key to my car, I became a SAHM.

I have to admit, before I had a baby I always envied them for the ease of their days. Their yoga pants and tank tops, small child on their hip, carrying their starbucks around Target as they hand their little ones goldfish. What a blissful life, I thought. Now I know the truth. Mamahood is most certainly the hardest job there is. But I'm ready. I'm ready for play dates. I'm ready to see every smile, giggle, and laugh. I'm ready to sit with my baby in the darkness of her room in the afternoon  rocking her before nap time, burying my face in her neck to smell her sweet baby scent. I'm ready to build an even stronger bond. I'm ready to watch her learn. There's nothing more beautiful or perfect than seeing my sweet little gal gain another bit of knowledge about the world around her- whether it be the movement of leaves blowing in the wind or the crinkling of the crate and barrel catalog- and sometimes throwing the crumpled up pages to the cat.

This new thing, I know it will come with its challenges. But, because I know it's so time limited, I will be able to soak every ounce of me in baby-ness. I'll take the fussy days. I'll take feeling tired. I'll take it all. And in the evening when J comes home, I'll probably know why SAHM hand babies off to dads for bathtime!

...In a few weeks, life will revert to working mom. But, only part time working mom. A balance that will be so perfect it makes me grin from ear to ear just thinking about it. Three extra days with S? Plus doing what I love as my job? It is almost too good to be true. Shouldn't all moms be given this option?

Today, in celebration of our first real day together, we went swimming. In the kitchen. Break the rules. This is what makes life with kids so much fun.

Happy Half Birthday, Baby Girl!

*As per usual, I am late posting. 6 months was technically August 20th.

6 months old. How did this happen? From my quick labor, to bringing her home from the hospital thinking are they really letting us take her home by ourselves ?! Staying up all night in the early days, staring at her endlessly, sobbingly returning to work at 6 weeks, and then slowly getting into our routine.... we both survived.

We made it a half of a year. Each day with S gets better. Her little gummy toothless smile lights up a room. She squeals when I get home from work. She plays with my hair with one hand while she falls asleep with her head on my shoulder. She sniffles and snorts her nose when she's excited (thanks grammy for teaching her that one!). She rolls around in circles from happiness when J goes to get her in the morning and he's the first face she sees. She scoots backwards. She sits up. She babbles. She laughs. But none of that comes close to describing this baby. She's happy. She's content. And she is in love with her mama (umm yes, and our 3 am nursing sessions). Her giggle is infectious. I am probably jinxing us, but aside from the whole sleeping through the night thing- which is possibly half my fault too- she is such an easy easy baby. We're lucky. You know life is good when after you put your baby to bed, you and your hubs spend time laying around looking at photos of her.

Lucky, lucky, lucky. We made a video of all the iphone photos I've taken of my little one over the past six months, but alas, the blog won't let me upload a twenty four minute Sienna show.  So, this photo below will have to suffice for now. What a gorgeous baby I have.
Happy six months, Sienna Bear!!

The S Word

Sleep. Every mama of a 6 month old who is not sleeping through the night has surely put some time into reading about it. Weissbluth, Sears, Ferber, Mindell. No Cry. Cry It Out (CIO). CIO with checks. And here's the funny thing- no one talks about this "in public" because they are afraid to be judged for their choices.

Case and point? I posted on a mama board awhile back just asking, "Did anyone sleep train their 4 month old?" I just asked! I didn't even say I was going to do it! And I didn't say a n y t h i n g about CIO vs. no cry. Just about sleep training. And I got flamed. All the experts, even the non crying ones, say anywhere from 4-8 months is prime for sleep training because if you wait to long... well you've got a 4 year old who you are having to fall asleep in bed with and sloooowly back out of the room praying they won't wake up when you shut the door.

So with some major reading (I spent more time reading than sleeping) and some talking with some of my close friends who sleep trained anywhere between 3 and 8 months, we knew that we had to do something post 4 month sleep regression. We were back to waking every 2-3 hours. Mama works full time. This was not going well.

So we sleep trained. We did a mix of CIO with checks (S got pissed sometimes when we did this), CIO with checks without mama involved (Thank you J) and straight CIO at times. We also did some praying and hoping and rain dances to the sleep gods that this would work. And knock on wood, it keeps getting better. We have our nights that are horrible, but at 4 months we dropped to two night feedings and since about 5 months we've been consistently at one feeding. Bed time is at 7 and she sleeps until anywhere between 2:30 and 4:30, nurses for about 15 minutes, then sleeps until 6-7am.  I'll take that.
But it's not all sunshine and butterflies and always perfect. Sometimes things happen that are totally out of my control and just happen.

Like last night:
2:33am: SQUEAL!
2:35am: "ooooooooo me! ooooo iiii!"
2:40-something am: I decide she's happy and just having fun. Mama falls back to a very light sleep.
3:18am: wooden bumping noise
3:18am: check video monitor, foot kicking crib slats.
3:19am: Please go back to sleep
3:30am: Crying.
3:35am: Still crying
3:35am: I'm up. Wonder through the dark hall with cell phone light.
3:35am: Pick up S. S SMILES AND LAUGHS
3:36am: Yuck, what is that smell?! Change diaper.
3:40am: Nurse
3:48am: Done nursing, playing with mama's Yurman necklace
3:48am: Rock in glider for a few minutes.
3:50am: Kisses for baby, back in her crib
3:52am: Mama takes off glasses & goes back to sleep
3:52am: Two more big squeals and giggles "AHHHHh ooooo"
3:55am: Finally silent. Check monitor. Baby's asleep.
7:20am: What? The baby's not up! I need to wake her up to nurse her before work....

The funny thing is, seeing as I was only "awake" totally from 3:20-4 I consider this a very successful night.  Also, since we only wake up once to eat these days, I find that I enjoy our 15 minutes of quiet cuddle time. Other updates: S sleeps on her tummy now- butt up. We got breathable bumpers because she kept getting her legs caught in the crib slats. She couldn't be any cuter in her pajamas.

In another few weeks, it's time to cut our last night feeding. And while I know (oh do I know) that there will still be nights with many wakings, especially during teething or sickness, I feel like we've survived. Take that, sleep.

Fall To-Do

Fine, it's not as much as "to do" as "to attend" and "to visit" and "to celebrate". All of which I am okay with! But it will be a busy busy fall this year!

On deck we have [side note: every time I hear the phrase on deck I picture myself in my swim team bathing suit and cap with a permanent marker scribbled event written on my hand]:

30th birthday party for one of my bffs.
accompanied by a trip to CT for a family visit.
end of fellowship(!!)= part time SAHM with S
labor day party in yardley at our friends' new abode.
fall wedding 1.
J's grandma's 90th birthday party!
softball tournament.
trip to seattle.
fall wedding 2.
a bridal shower + bachelorette party!
Philly Union game (crab fries mmm).
fall wedding 3.
fall wedding 4.
visit with J's college friends.
trip upstate NY hiking with the family.
wedding anniversary.
fall wedding 5.

all before november first. better get our plane/dancing/hiking shoes on!