On having girls...

We found out about a month ago that we are having another girl. The joy of having a sister is one I only experienced through my long-time best friends, but never through blood. Never through growing up trying on each other's shoes and giggling when we should be sleeping. I hope that my girls will grow together, though I'm sure they will be different. I hope they cheer each other on in sports, and feed each other Ben & Jerry's after a break up. I hope they are fiercely protective of eachother, but also kindly competitive. In short, I'm really excited for Sienna to have a sister and vice versa. 

But, this thing happened. Since we found out we were having a girl, everyone feels it's okay to ask right away; are you having a third? You're still young, you can try for that boy. Two girls? I feel sorry for Jamie. Facebook (I deleted the comments, they are not funny to me), real life, people seem to have no idea that's sort of a harsh question/statement. It's like asking if we are sad we are getting this new child. When I found out I was having a girl the first time, I got cards. I got cute bows. This time? Nothing. Maybe this is just a product of baby #2? I don't expect gifts to roll out in front of me. But recognition of a new little girl coming into our lives would be nice. A HUGE thank you to my sweet friend Sarah and little Morgan for sending us a sisters book. The little gesture made a huge difference to me. It's nice to know that it can be a joy- and Sarah has a little sister herself so she for sure knows all the ups and downs of sisterhood. 

This morning, I saw this article posted on facebook. Of course having girls is somewhat different than having boys. There is that whole anatomy and hormones and puberty thing. But really, there is no reason having a girl limits the fun or the gross (S is currently obsessed with worms) that comes with having a boy. I love how succinctly he puts it- life is pretty wonderful.

And the same goes for my mama friends with all boys- it's just a gender. It doesn't define who they are. Hopefully, if we are all good kind parents, that will hopefully define them far more than what color newborn hat they get in the hospital.

So stop asking if we are having more kids just because we will have two girls;  for now we are grateful for a healthy looking babe who has a heart that's pumping well and good kidney function and a brain that looks fantastic. That's not sarcasm- it's true. Thankful for health, excited for what this new little one will bring to our lives. If she's anything as much as a spitfire as Sienna, we will have a highly entertaining next 18 years.  So here's to my two girls- I can't wait for you two to adventure through life together.

Sienna holding her worm friend. See, girls can like dirt and bugs too.

22 weeks and counting.. Also we are going to DISNEY WORLD.

This weekend marked 22 weeks. Do second pregnancies always go faster than first pregnancies? The days are flying by and I find myself having to think hard about what we need and what we don't. When we first found out we were having a girl, I was soooo organized and started to go through clothes. That hasn't happened since that week. I guess that's what summer is for, right? I also realized that a lot of my non maternity stretch dresses are the PERFECT solution to in between super preggo and non preggo. This one in the photo below is a cheapy Old Navy purchase from the fall after I had Sienna. Pays to keep things around!

Weeks: 22
Feeling: Stilllll tired. Another been there before mama told me recently that the second trimester energy surge doesn't happen once you already have a kid at home. This is true so far, but I still feel far better than trimester one. And more excited too.
Belly:  In the words of my friend Sarah, people would likely offer me a subway seat now. I'm loving being out of the weird stage and onto the actual pregnant belly.
Movement: Tons. A lot is straight down. It wakes me up. If the cat lays on my belly and purrs, she moves so much more. It's so nice to be into the "I can feel her moving and know she's doing okay in there" stage.
Craving: With Easter passing, jelly beans (eek) were this week's craze. But generally still hanging in there with my fruit, veggie, and cheese desires. Meat still isn't big on my list. But I did have a delish grilled burger this weekend that hit the spot.
Gender: Girly girl and Sienna thinks her name should be "Minnie". Sometimes "Sarah".
Random thoughts: Excited for another ultrasound on Weds. They need to check my placenta but as far as I'm concerned just another chance to see the little one in there!

Other thoughts include: Was I crazy to book a trip to Disney pregnant with a toddler? It's going to be 90 degrees. Send water and prayers. And advice. And any recommendations for good comfy sneakers. Wish us luck!

 

First Date-A-Versary-ISH

The other day, I was daydreaming while driving. For some reason, I was thinking about which necklaces would look cute on my night out with my friends in Philly. My mind suddenly flashed to this long-chain, antique looking, heart locket of a necklace my mom has.

And suddenly, I was there. I was back eight years ago, dressed in my True Religion jeans, a tank top, a sparklyish short shrug sweater (remember that trend??) and my mom's long heart necklace. Maybe it was good luck that I just didn't know was coming. I don't remember the date of my first date with Jamie. That seems so bizarre to me. I'm queen of nostalgia. But I know we met on St. Patrick's day and had our first date alone, without friends there, a few weeks later. So, in April 2006, eight years ago, Jamie picked me up in that outfit.

I remember the smell of his red Jeep Cherokee (at the time I remember thinking it was handsome cologne. In retrospect, I think it mayyyy have been leftover soccer stench covered with said cologne). I know he was wearing his Lucky Brand jeans and a button down shirt. And his favorite J. Lindeberg belt- that has sadly long since been broken.

I can vividly remember our email exchange that week, discussing any food avoidances I have (duh, none), and that he would come to me and take me to dinner. I remember we used to email back and forth questions about each other every day... I remember laughing at those emails and the crazy things Jamie said. I remember that around that same time J told me he drank 64 ounces of water a day while at work and that his favorite food was sushi.

We went to Fish Tank. A small restaurant in Manayunk I loved. He picked the place. He picked our wine, with my approval of course. My best guess is that back then he bent more for me than he showed because I remember it was a white (sweetish) wine and I now know a Malbec is more his speed. He ordered a full bronzino. We sat at dinner for hours. I remember that it was so warm that night and I was so filled with hope. I think some part of me knew then, on date one, this was my forever. I think some part of me also knew it wasn't yet. But I just had a feeling...

For some reason, all it took was a simple thought of that necklace to bring it swirling back.. Mom, I don't know if you even knew I had that for a year, but I did. It went on our first date. It brings back the most treasured memories to me.

Those early days are so irreplaceable. How thankful I am that we walked down this path...

This is NOT our first date. But it was that summer. And I love this photo.

Sienna + Stella

About two years ago, I wrote this post. We took the seven (turned into nine with a baby) drive to Boston to meet Stella. It blows my mind that we decided to trek that far with a six week old, but looking back, I am SO glad we did. Two days without sleep and with a fussing infant in the car was worth it. In fact, maybe this is just rose colored glasses, but I sort of remember Sienna being an angel on that trip.

I didn't know it, but keeping our girls close from day one would pay off. Some of their first words were each other's names. If you ask Sienna who is going to sleep in her room, she always says Stella (they have never had a same room sleep over but alas...) They literally light up when they see each other. They clap and squeal and chase each other around. Sienna's lovie is fondly known as BaBa (a lamb) while Stella's is Ooh (a monkey). When they find the other's lovie, they walk run to give it to the other one, saying "awww" as they go.

Sienna's getting a sister, and I know she will have the most loving, tumultuous at times, close knit relationship with her. But a cousin is different. You don't have to share parents or share attention. You just share your best moments. Your hilarious endless laughter. I am forever, forever grateful we made that trek when Stella was born. I will always cherish the baby and toddler moments these two girls had together. I smile when I think about our adventures. They are only two and already we've taken them to upstate NY together, Avalon, New Hampshire, a bazillion drives from Yardley-Wilmington-Bel Air, and up next is Disney. When they are together, the world feels right. It's silly and cliche, but it's true. While Stella walked early, Sienna was still tumbling over. When Sienna was drawing nice circles, Stella was throwing crayons. They are so different but they are like puzzle pieces that were meant to be together.

Sienna, treasure your cousin. She will have childhood memories of you that no one else will-- not even your new sister in these first few years. She will stand up for you and love you and know that even when your parents act crazy, it's for a good cause. 

To a friendship that as far as I can tell, was always meant to be. I love you girls.

Here's a timeline of my favorite photos of the BFFs.

H A L F W A Y there...

So here we are twenty weeks. Halfway there.

Sort of crazy because halfway there with Sienna seemed to take forever. Halfway there with baby two seems like it happened overnight. Here we are moving along with the belly. Sweatshirt on the left? I live in it. It's not maternity but makes me feel like a half normal person.

Weeks: 20! HALFWAY THERE.
Feeling: Still tired. More excited.
Belly: Growing daily. Last night my mom said "no one would mistake that you're pregnant now"
Movement: Yes, but once again my placenta is anterior so it's dull. Except when I feel movement straight down. Not my favorite. Mostly in the morning, which is complete opposite from Sienna.
Craving: Lots of salt. And lots of water. I guess this makes sense.
Gender: GIRL! Sienna is getting a baby sister!
Random thoughts: I need to figure out where this baby is going to sleep. We know we won't stay in this house forever, and sort of don't want to turn another room into a nursery. TBD.

Here we go again...

Well. We took the plunge. Baby Walls 2.0 is on the way! Sienna is going to be a big sister! (She still does not know this, we tried telling her once which only confused her. We will wait a little longer til the bump is apparent and then try again)

My goodness second pregnancy is different from the first. The day I found out I was pregnant with Sienna I spent hours googling pregnancy symptoms and babys r us and who knows what. The day I found out I was pregnant with this baby: I tell Jamie and hand him the test and Sienna pushes me out of the room and says "bye mommy, hiding with daddy!" and I carried on making dinner for the family. Having a toddler means that sometimes (sometimes now that I am no longer sick 24 hours a day) I forget I am even pregnant. Then my pants don't button and I remember.

This time I went to get my blood test on the way to work. There was a little sense of good anxiety, but nothing like this day which I still remember fondly. There's no collapsing on the couch after work. First time preggo mamas: SOAK IT UP!

In the beginning days I felt awful this time. Not like with Sienna. Awful vomiting and not being able to eat anything, stomach pains, the fatigue was intense, and nothing I did helped (preggo pops are great but weren't cutting it). My OB put me on Diclegis. It's a lifesaver.

18.5 weeks in and I feel human again. Still tired which leaves me suspicious that this is a mom-of-a-toddler problem in combination with a pregnancy problem and that it may indeed plague me this entire 40 weeks. We have our gender ultrasound this week and I am super excited! I can't decide what I think this baby is and with Sienna I was 100% sure it was a girl.

So at 18 weeks..

Weeks: 18.5 in the photo.
Feeling: Tired. Way less nauseous. Excited to find out gender.  Consistently a mix between ecstatic and terrified of how I'll parent two kids. At the same time.
Belly: Bigger than last time at 18 weeks for sure! Uterus remembers what to do!
Movement: Just a little, mostly little jabs at night. I feel like I felt more with S??
Craving: Cucumbers & hummus, mozz cheese with tomatoes. NOTHING meat related. Wine. How I miss my wine this time.
Gender: Find out Friday. J says girl. Chinese calendar says girl
Random thoughts: Poor baby #2. He/She has nothing to their name yet. I should really buy something new. I will do that Friday after our appointment, maybe.

So here we go again!

XOXO

TWO

Sienna is two (!!!)

Sometimes life goes by in a flash and I can't believe she's two. Other times the days and nights are long and I think, have we only been doing this parenting thing for two years now?  There are days I literally can't imagine life without her, and moments when I remember what it felt like to sleep in or have quiet time after work. I wouldn't trade this life for anything, though.

So much has changed in two years. Jamie and I have learned a ton about parenting, and Sienna has grown into the most charming little toddler. Sure, she has her moments, but in general she's one of the easy ones. She smiles and laughs when we are goofy with her, she lights up at the thought of any sweets (sweet tooth like her daddy), and her talking.... She doesn't stop.

You could say her verbal tendencies are her mama's; when we are together we talk non-stop. Her favorite phrases are currently "wook what happened!" and "oh my goooodness", both of which crack me up every time.

More than anything, Sienna is a sweet, kind, empathetic kid. If her cousin Stella cries she always comes to tell me that Stella is sad. At gym class she says "it's otay!" when someone falls. She's a lover- a hugger and kisser and cuddler (when she's in the mood).

We are so grateful to have a two year old who brings us so much fun and joy.

HAPPY SECOND BIRTHDAY SIENNA!!!

Xoxo,
Mommy + Daddy

I'm back. And this one's worth reading.

I've taken a blogging hiatus. We've been so busy and to be honest a little overwhelmed. Today my friend Sarah sent me a link- and told me- if I do nothing else today- to get around to watching this (with tissues). Heeding her warning, I waited for Sienna's nap time. And then watched.

This is the Great Adventure

If you don't have time to read it all, here's my favorite part:

"This abstract performance art called family life is our one run at the ultimate improv. Our chance to be great for someone, to give another person everything they need to be happy, ours to apologize for, to try again for, to get a little more right next time. Ours to watch disappear into their next self, toddler to tike... it's happening right now whether we prepare for it or not. All the while... this is it. This is the greatest adventure."

Cuddling after with my little.

Singing works just fine for me....

Hi.

It's been awhile.

Life has been mildly crazy. Holidays. Sick kiddo. Kid who popped her elbow out of socket again. Work is exciting but super busy with new research projects. And my sweet girl who I love more than anything has been so clingy to me that a spare minute literally does not exist. I walk the bridge of thankful for her attachment and -if I am going to be honest, as I always am on this blog- suffocated. I mean I can't shower without her in the bathroom. If I leave her room she screams. It's heartbreaking but also heartwarming. Difficult and endearing.

The last few days we've been home- just the three of us- getting back into our normal work and life schedule after Thanksgiving, visits to Connecticut (S looooves Gigi, her great grandmother), and some major snowfall for December! Things are calming. Work is in order, home is in order.

Tonight I sat down to address my Christmas cards (after a successful bed time of no crying from Sienna with a new night light and extra cuddles) and as I flipped on the TV, James Taylor was crooning Going to Carolina on NJTV. And while my plan was to watch this week's Blacklist, I was drawn in. When I was little My entire lie my dad always sang James Taylor to me. It somehow brought a sense of calm. It made me feel at home as he played his guitar to the tunes, even when I came home from Penn State bleary eyed from finals.

Years later, I am finding that these words, this beautiful music still soothes me. I'm now bleary eyed from a crazy week with a sleepless toddler and a ton of work, but it still brings me back. It always has. I can hear my dad's voice and the squeak of his fingers against the guitar strings.  It makes me want to curl up under a blanket and fall asleep. Or curl up under the covers and write out Christmas cards, as is tonight's reality.  Feeling thankful for these warm calming memories tonight. Off to address and get our cards ready to send to our loved ones!

There's a song that they sing
of their home in the sky
Maybe you can believe it if it helps you to sleep,
But singing works just fine for me....

(Thanks dad)

NUNEY!

When my cousin Kim and I were little, rumor has it we ran around in our underwear yelling "nudey nudey nudey!" Very appropriate, I know. But we always had the best time together.

Sienna discovered that she can undress herself. When we ask her what she wants to wear her response is simply, "NENNA NUNEY!!" aka nude. She wants to wear nothing.

So, 90% of her day is spent in just a diaper. On the upside, when it comes to potty training, I guess we will be in good shape with no pants to take off.

Happy Nuney Day Thanksgiving Eve!