For Connecticut, you have my heart.

{In honor of Charlotte, Daniel, Olivia, Josephine, Ana, Dylan, Madeleine, Catherine, Chase, Jesse, James, Grace, Emilie, Jack, Noah, Caroline, Jessica, Avielle, Benjamin, Alliso}

My heart hurts this Sunday evening. We were ironically en route to Connecticut this weekend when we heard the horrible news. I am glad we weren't near a computer when tragedy struck on Friday. I fear I would have been too quick with my words, not careful enough with my thoughts. I write this post not as a professional, not as a political activist (though I can't fight the thoughts that come with those identities of mine- I'll save them for another time), but as a mom. And as the daughter of a teacher.

The cheeks of the nation are tear stained and I know I am not alone in being a parent who envisioned what it was like to get the news that your sweet child has been killed. I know I am not alone in my sheer horror, sadness, anger, and fear. I know I am not alone in my wishes that this was just a bad dream.  I know I am not alone in grasping to whatever I can that allows me to continue to believe I can protect my child in this world. And I know for sure, with most certainty, I am not alone in thanking God for my baby, for letting me have another day to hug her, another day to watch her grow.

This is not fair, not ever. No six year old should know the terror that accompanies that kind of death; no six year old survivor should have to carry this scary memory with them for their entire life. It's too young. They were just babies. Beautiful innocent babies. No teacher should have to throw themselves in the line of fire to protect their young and eager students, knowing it was their last moment but willing to do it to save their kids. But they do, they did.

So with that, I say...  My heart is broken and hurting and my soul is crying the tears of every parent across the country. I'm sending every thought and on my knees prayers and small pieces of hope to those families, to the parents and siblings who are suffering a loss that is unbearable and unthinkable. I am holding my sweet, sweet baby girl a little tighter this weekend and breathing in her babyness, with the extra reminder to be patient and kind as a parent- to treasure our moments.

Sending our love to you, Newtown, Connecticut. We surely cannot totally understand your pain, but you are not alone. We grieve with you.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/12/15/3143534/names-and-ages-of-those-killed.html#storylink=cpy