birth day.

Sweet, sweet Sienna,

A year ago tonight I sat nervous, anxious, curious. My heart was full of butterflies and you were kicking away. At 5:30 am we woke up, showered, and headed to the hospital. When we would walk back through the door a few days later, you would be with us.

I have started this post a few times in the last few days. But not until tonight, on the eve of your first birthday, did it all really start to come pouring over me. I was singing to you today in the kitchen, dancing with you and holding you in a cradled position. Holding you like I used to hold you a billion hours a day, every day of the week during those fleeting newborn moments. I kissed your little nose and smelled that good baby smell. The smell that I know will soon be replaced with the smell of food you get into or the dirt you've been playing in.

Tonight I nursed you to sleep, which is rare these days. Usually you're wide awake and wanting "boo" "boo" (books) after we are finished. Not tonight. You closed your eyes, rubbed your lovey on your face, and snuggled in. As if to say, don't worry mama I still really need you. It warmed my heart.

And tomorrow, tomorrow is your first birthday. Welcome to birthdays in our family, my girl. We do them big. Signs, presents, cakes. Hugs and laughter. Birthdays are important- the day we celebrate your day, the day you were born.

You are an amazing one year old. You are sweet and funny and you make us laugh constantly. You love food (especially watermelon, peas and broccoli- our healthy girl!). You are trying out words, and sometimes look totally confused when they come out of your mouth. Your favorite word is "bath" and you repeat it about a million times when it's time to get all clean. You can also say mama, dada, and some version of bye and hi. Oh, and definitely the cutest word you say is "huuuu" for hug. It's long and drawn out and high pitched and you say it as you cuddle us or your stuffed animals. You are cruising and walking holding our hands. You love people, you love exploring, and you adore the moment your daddy walks in the door from work.

I can't believe it's been a year. I can't believe we survived a year sometimes.  I'm lucky to have you as my daughter. And we are lucky to have daddy as part of our crew. I can't wait to see where life's adventures take us next.  I love where it's taken us so far.

Your smile lights up my world. Even one year ago when you first arrived I never knew how much I'd love you today. But in my mom heart, I can picture us in that hospital bed just meeting each other- and it feels like yesterday. I can't wait to see your sweet face in the morning to wish you a VERY happy first birthday and scoop you up for our daily morning cuddles. We love you, Sienna bear!

XOXO,
Mama

february twentieth two thousand twelve: three eighteen in the afternoon. love.