And it always seems to be that these things happen after a really wonderful time. You know, the 4 month sleep regression after learning to roll both ways. The 18th cold after a totally healthy week of activities, the fever after a nice quiet evening of playing, the tantrums after a morning of never hearing the child mutter the word no.
OF COURSE course, as if on cue, it happened again. Last week I was telling someone how easy my child is. Happy, laughing, sleeping like a charm. 12 hours + per night and good naps. I was feeling mildly rested. I was thinking we made it to a really lovely pinnacle of happy toddlerhood. Sure, there were mini tantrums, but all in all things were good.
And then.... last night struck. And my roller coaster plummeted down, taking with it that dropping out of the pit of my stomach feeling. We knew S was overtired after a long weekend of bad night time sleep and a skipped nap. She's always been an excellent napper and if she misses them, it's a disaster. So 6:30 was bed time. We heard a scream so loud at 7:20pm that both J and I JUMPED out of bed. Ran into Sienna. In her footie pjs holding her blanket, she reached for me hysterical, tears running down her face. She didnt want to be held, she didn't want to be put down. She didn't want her baba (lamby), she didn't want mama or dada. She finally settled after 10-15 minutes in our bed, with her lovey, half asleep. I rocked her, asked her what she wanted and she said "night night" and with that, a silent rest of our night began (Well silent is relative as a parent, am I right? A few cries or whine equals silent). It was so weird. And horrifying. I shook for about 10 minutes after putting her down. I was really upset that my poor girl had such a terrifying look on her face and was so distraught.
I began googling like mad while watching Miley Cyrus utterly embarrass herself on the VMAs and did a quick thankful prayer that S was not awake watching that horror.
Was it night terrors? Nightmares? Gas? A tummy ache? Canine teeth? Second molars? Confused about being in our house after a night at grandmas? Overtired? Separation anxiety? 18 month sleep regression? Then the texting and emails to friends- had their kid done this? Does baby sleep ever stop being so crazy that it literally blows my mind?Am I going to lose my mind? Should we ever have another kid- how will I possibly survive?
"It gets better".
And of course, even the next 9 hours were better. They were pretty quiet. S woke up this morning with a voice so hoarse that she sounds like a 20 year smoker, but other than that she was happy as can be. My outrageous spiraling thoughts about never having another child calmed. I don't know the cause of last night's waking.
I may never know.
But I know this-
The good parts of parenting are good- so good that there are days I find myself blindsided by the joy that she brings me. Her laugh can literally light up a room. I am thankful every day for her and when I see other toddlers when I'm at work or away I miss her like crazy.
The hard parts of parenting turn me into a crazed mama for a few hours (or days) and I think I am finally understanding that's normal. Normal! This roller coaster is how things will go.
And when the sleep eventually does get better permanently, something else will be absolutely insane in our house and I'll have to take that with a grain of salt too.
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| Oh ps when your kid is awake screaming and sweaty and disoriented, you will indeed give them a bottle to calm them even though they probably don't need it. Because, JUST MAKE THE SCREAMING STOP! |
lock up your son ;)
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