When you were a baby.... that's the point of this blog, right?

I've been struggling to blog lately. For two reasons really.
1. I am busy and Sienna is MOVING. Gone are the days of two or three naps. One nap, mid day, enough to get a few things done but rarely organize thoughts enough to write.

2. Which leads me to my second point, writing is hard these days. I work, I take care of S, we have a billion things going on. So lately writing doesn't feel like what's pulling me. What's pulling me is seeing Sienna's goofy face sticking her lamb blanket out of the crib saying "BAA!!" and then cracking up. What's pulling me is a Saturday afternoon of brief quiet time with my husband while the little one naps. What's pulling me is life. Going on around me so quickly I can't believe my newborn is now walking and talking. Or that we are watching another summer of fabulous weddings of friends and hearts tied to one another. That my best friend returns to work from a 3 month maternity leave tomorrow and it seems like three days to me. So for the lack of blogging, I blame the quick paced life that's happening here lately.

So for now, a slur of pictures and memories because after all, this is the place I hope to come some day and read Sienna stories that start with "when you were a baby..."

So let's give it a go. And um, yes, "baby" means fifteen months old.

When you were a baby, on mama's second mother's day, we got dressed up and went to cousin Valerie's bridal shower. You were interested in the egg salad sandwiches, m&m's, and drinking out of big cousin cups.

 

When you were a baby, you loved hanging out at grandma and grandpa's- ESPECIALLY when they got you a new little person table to sit at. Oh and pajamas. Pajamas all day.

 

When you were a baby, this was your favorite swing. And you liked to say things like "weeee" and "more" and "yayyyy" when you swing.

 

When you were a baby, mama worked half time. We went to the park on our days off. I adore watching you play. This picture makes me laugh because you're looking at a bigger kid swinging up high. I feel like you're already a dreamer like mama.

 

 

When you were a baby, mama took you for your first Rita's. It was love at first bite.

 

 Speaking of bites, when you were a baby you love sitting on dada's lap and having bites of cheerios in the morning. You call breakfast your "snack" pronounced "nack".

 

When you were a baby, we took you to the memorial day parade. You waved your flag and clapped and squealed. To date, this may be my very favorite Sienna reaction to anything. You were absolutely mesmerized for the whole course of the parade.

 

When you were a baby, mama mostly hung out with you. But sometimes, when very special people asked her to come see them, she did. Auntie Sarah is one of those people. So dada and I went to a really cool charity event with Sarah and Chris where we won a leafblower and a night at a B&B. Pretty cool, right?

 

When you were a baby, we spent a lot of time with your pal Susie. She's a month older than you and always showing you the ropes. You guys like to make an absolutely beautiful disaster of things together. It's pretty awesome.

 

And you like to do whatever daddy does. Even if it's just pulling weeds out of the garden. This photo is one of my favorites because you were insisting that I let you help and not pick you up.



When you were a baby, I let you finger paint- and hair paint. And this is what you looked like.

 

When you were the most gorgeous blue eyed baby ever, we went on evening walks. Sometimes you flopped on your back under trees and babbled about the "wees" which I am 99% sure means leaves.

 

When you were a sweet sweet baby, we went to visit my friend Kevin for lunch and you cuddled up like he was your old friend too. You alwas know the good ones.

 

 

And of course then you played in the water. And cracked us up.

 

 

Let's back this one up. When mama was just a college gal only daydreaming about a life like I have now, I shared a room with this beauty who would eat chips and queso with me and share the same dreams. We talked about boys and life one day and  other lovely things~ all of which are seeming to come true for us now. And when you were a baby, mama went to laugh and enjoy some good college friend company at Alli's bridal shower.

 

Last one for now, sweet girl. When you were a baby, you always asked me to "sit, sit" next to you on the steps in the front yard. You're smart. You're sweet and kind and loving. And curious. So curious and you want me to share it all with you. That's my favorite part. And those eyes. They still slay me. 15 months later one look at those gorgeous peepers and I'm putty.

 

Happy Summer. xo

A lesson to all mamas and dadas

This morning, I clicked on a post a friend had on facebook. I couldn't stop reading. I was drawn in quickly and emotionally. I found myself wiping away huge ugly tears and crying audibly. I found myself wishing, for this woman, that things just happened differently. If you want a good honest but heartwrenching blog post to read, here it is below:

Love, Light, and Laughter Blog- Be with me. Just for today.

Here's the point. Secure your dressers, your big tvs, your furniture to the walls. Even if you think it can't be pulled over- it could be.

I'm for sure getting myself to Home Depot to get some more anchors for our furniture. Like thsi mom said, I too have my heavy furniture secured to the walls. But her little changing table? Nope.

Time to get going on this and stop saying "I'll get around to it". Injury prevention and saving a kiddos life is worth the tearful blog read.

XOXO

I just wanted to dry my hair

Sienna is walking running running &falling and peeking into every little thing she can. My days of leisurely washing and drying my hair during morning nap are over. So I have to figure out a way to make it all work.

I bring you: the toddler bucket.

 

Hm these photos are looking a bit distorted. Anyway... I decided we had to do something about the fact that usually S runs to the door and says "out" two seconds after I shut her in the bathroom to dry my hair, or put on make up, or even just brush my teeth.

 

So we took her drum (which is really just a bucket when you take off the top) and we filled it with things I won't usually let her play with. My iphone box, two dvds (we don't watch dvds anymore anyway), an iphone cord, a spatula, a paintbrush, a closed container of mints to shake, and of course a few fav toys: rubber ducky, curious George car, keys. This works for approximately 8 minutes. That's pretty big over here. Success!

 

Oh and also mother's day! Happy belated to all my mama friends.

 

Here are Sienna and me before heading off to a bridal shower (yes, a bridal shower on mother's day?) and enjoying the sunshine!

 

 

This one also looks distorted. Maybe it's my computer?

 

Either way, happy toddlerhood, happy mother's day, happy almost summer!

Wedding Season 2013 is upon us!

This weekend we packed up our bags, our car, our snacks, our girl, and our ridiculous amount of baby luggage.

We headed south towards Charlottesville, J's old college stomping grounds. His UVA friends are true gems and the fact that they've proven to be the greatest husbands and dads around is not lost on me.

Virginia's campus is gorgeous- and S came home with quite a few UVA outfits (okay as did mama because I expected MUCH warmer weather and needed a sweatshirt). We explored, we ate good food, we walked and talked and dined al fresco with all the babes.

The actual wedding was at Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyard. So gorgeous! One of the best venues we've ever seen. The views, the amazing porch that overlooked the mountains for cocktail hour. The inside of the barn for the reception. It was a picture perfect wedding out of a magazine. We had the best time. And the bride + groom, Jess and James, were gorgeous too!

One of my favorite parts of this weekend was the Sunday morning gathering and brunch with all the friends and babies. J's known these guys forever. And the fact that there are so many babies and kiddos that join our get togethers make things crazy, chaotic- and more fun than we could have ever expected.

These babies range from eight weeks to five years old. I loved every minute of seeing them interact. Sienna was obsessed with the older kids and walked around saying "baby" when she saw the little ones younger than her.

Awesome weekend (not so awesome car trip home) and awesome time visiting with some of the greatest people we know.

Love to James + Jessica! Congrats Newlyweds! Can't wait for the next UVA family reunion!

We're busy, I'm slacking on writing lately, and it's 8:24 pm and Sienna is still awake.

First of all- why did no one tell me this two nap to one nap transition takes like a decade?

Some days it's two. Some days it's one. On days when it's two though, the wake up is at approximately 4:45-5. So when I try to put S down at 7:30 it's a no go. Tonight we had to say "nigh nigh" (night night in S words) to the kitty x3. Then we had to give a bottle to her lovey. Then we had to read one more book (boo! boo! says the baby). I finally put her down at 8:00. She's still in there- not crying- but not sleeping. That means some nights she only gets 10-10.5 hours of sleep straight which makes me crazy because that's NOT ENOUGH SLEEP for a one year old. Some days it's not even enough for me ;)

On to the good- Post sickness and hospital stay, this child is back to her normal, happy, FUNNY self. Laughter is a given every day and she's so good natured. She's walking and talking nonstop. She's eating up a storm. I love this baby girl. She's such a gift.

Moving on... let's discuss that this year's wedding season is no calmer than last. I think we have eight weddings between May and November. So in a few weeks maybe I'll take to picture posts and get things rolling.

So blog silence be broken, here's hoping for more time to get up some posts on what's new in our life this spring!

For Boston.

Sienna was sleeping soundly for a nap for the first time in a week on Monday when Ellen was interrupted for the news. I was supposed to be napping too, but I found myself watching in horror.  Both Boston and running have a special place in my heart. In fact, my first clear memories of Boston were making the trek up to watch my brother run in nationals in high school. Wide eyed enamored with the city, Quincy market (and for sure in high school that HUGE abercrombie), cute restaurants, and the college students that seemed to pour out of every corner.

I walk the line of runner. Sometimes I am training and running and even completed the Philly half marathon with J one year. Other times I barely run a few miles a week. But there's a certain love, and energy about races. When I'm not running them, I'm watching them. Cheering on J as he crosses finish lines, S in the sling or stroller smiling these days. One of my best friends is an avid runner. She ran until she was almost literally giving birth. There's no doubt that even in the times in my life when I am not lacing up my shoes, my respect for runners never waivers. It's a push your body push your mind sport. And when you are at the finish line of a race, cheering on your husband or friends or if you yourself know you only have a few steps left.... something magical happens-- excuse the cheesiness. There's a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride, and a sense of community. Picturing for just a moment what it felt like to be at that finish line gives me chills through my body. It could have been someone I loved. It could have been me. And then I think, after the tragic 9-11, people still fly. We do it every day. And after the 2013 Boston Marathon, people will still run- probably with even more conviction and pride.

And Boston... Boston is a city that has always had my heart. When I thought about where this happened- it broke my heart. I pictured the college students frantically calling parents. I pictured that dad who lost his son. I pictured this gorgeous city full of sadness. I couldn't help but cry. Because for me, Boston has always been a city full of happiness, full of tiny shops and good brunches and good friends. From visiting in high school for track meets to visiting my brother in college when he went to Northeastern (Note: I cannot believe my mom let me stay with my brother during his dorm or disgusting apartment days. How did I not get a bacterial infection from those dirty floors and mice?!) Boston was always the "fun" place to be. My brother made Boston a connected city where everybody literally knows your name (Cheers? Anyone?) He would whip us in and out of restaurants and bars and in each one introduced me to yet another friendly face. When he transitioned from the single days to meeting his wife, our visits became less about bars and night life and more about exploring the city. I loved Newbury street shopping and lunches. I loved that the fall REALLY felt like fall- New England gorgeous fall. Last year, they moved out of Boston and closer to us. And I've often thought that I am forever grateful to have my family closer- but I really miss that perfect city. My hope is that Boston shines through right along with the sport of running. That people are able to go back to and embrace the area where the explosions happened- that the city and the people are loved. That the heroes and stories that were a positive light on that day are remembered.

Anytime a child is lost, it always gets me emotional- there is just something wrong with that. And as I get older, I realize a child is still a child in their parents eyes no matter how old they get. My grandmother has told me so many times- a parent shouldn't bury their child. All three of the victims of this tragedy were "kids". A college student from china, a young professional, and an 8 year old. I wish their families and especially their parents a ton of hope, love, and the patience to navigate the path of grief they are sure to have ahead of them.

Sending tons of love to the running community and to Boston.

xoxo

We're alive over here

The blog has been silent because all of my energy has gone into taking care of little S.

Sometime at the end of last week, she caught a nasty GI bug. Last weekend she was just sort of clingy and tired, but by Sunday evening she cried at bed time and by Monday we had a full on virus including projectile vomit (lovely). Also, she had a case of red bumps on her head unlike anything I've ever seen- looked like swollen lymphnodes but not in the right places.

Today is day nine of this. On Monday night S was so dehydrated and hadn't peed in over 12 hours. She wouldn't drink. She only cried and wanted to be held. She kept throwing up. We landed ourselves in the ER and had a two day admission to the hospital. It was the worst. It gave me a new perspective of parents with chronically ill kiddos who spend days and days and hours on end in there. With a one year old, who has no clue what's going on, there are lots of tears and what it produced was a baby who was scared to be anywhere but in my arms. With a diagnosis of gastroenteritis and a nice secondary diagnosis of a E.coli bacterial UTI, we took our sad and still very sick girl home.

Day nine. We are still struggling. But we saw smiles and giggles today. She let me put her down to play. Not for long- but it's an improvement. Her crib is her worst nightmare but we're slowly- very slowly getting her used to it again and we are avoiding the bed time screaming.

I hope we are totally healed soon. My poor girl is just not herself. I want my happy go lucky kiddo back again.

Send us love- or food- or something to make this go away.

Love from the trenches,
A VERY tired mama.

PS Thank you mom + dad for making sure we got through the worst of this. We quite literally would have fallen apart with you this week.

Nap Refusal

Sienna is currently in her crib refusing nap number two. This is the second day of this straight up refusal. Before this it has just been shorter naps. I've been dreading this transition from two naps to one. I for real get everything done during nap one. I shower, I do dishes, I do laundry. Yikes! I'm not ready. To be fair, she's not screaming. Nope. It's not that she hates the crib. She doesn't mind it. But instead of sleeping, here are the things she's been doing:

• Holding her duck lovie over her head YELLING "quack quack!"
• Seeing if she can get her legs through the slats in the crib at different angles.
• Showing her belly button (to no one).
• Praciticing saying Mama (I choose to interpret this as practicing instead of calling me to come get her over and over. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt here).
• Standing up, placing blanket over her head, crashing down, laughing. Repeat.
• Baby yoga: Hands and feet on mattress, butt straight up in air.
• Throwing lovies out of crib.
• Attempting to take her pants off.
• Chewing on her toes.
• Hanging from her crib bars feet up monkey style (which ALMOST made me just jump up and run to get her because it LOOKED like she was climbing out fo the crib; she wasn't though).

Well at least she's semi quiet? Sigh. How old were your babies when they went from two naps to one? Is this in my near future? Please tell me no because I won't ever look presentable again without my free hour from morning nap time.

XO,
Refusing Naps in Delaware

Overhead via text: rollercoasters of mama life

Discussions with a fellow mama about those new mothers who make it look so damn easy:

 

"[They're] like no big deal, baby shmaby....

And I'm crumbling in the corner

eating kettle corn,

because that's my happy place"

 

 

 

 

Me too, my friend, meeee too.

 

23 months!

Before I even get started on the emotional side of this, can we just visit the scientific reality that is this: Babies can be sustained with nutrients from their moms for years. That.is.so.cool.

Why 23 months you ask? Well while S has only been out in the living breathing air space for the past thirteen months, we trecked through an almost ten month pregnancy before that (why do people say you are preg for 9 months when it is 40 weeks?). So 10 + 13 = 23.  I took care of the little lady for those forty weeks of pregnancy: healthy eating, exercise, sleep (sweet sweet sleep). And then.....

We exclusively breastfed for t h i r t e e n months. I'm really proud of that.

I think we owe a huge thanks to the people who were most supportive of our nursing relationship- J has been encouraging and as understanding as any guy could possibly be because we saved thousands of dollars on not buying formula it is the healthiest thing for our baby and he knew we could do it.  My mom was for sure a huge cheerleader too. What mom hands you the baby the first few weeks at 10pm after your 2 hour nap because she needs to nurse and then takes her back until her midnight feeding? Mine. We had a great lactation consultant in the early days too. She was private and came to our house- not part of the army of LCs at the hospital that are not the best in my opinion. You need someone whose passion is breastfeeding. A few 11pm calls through tear stained cheeks and a shaky voice saved our nursing relationship. And my nursing mom friends who have been there. Who answered texts about engorgement and pumping and nursing bras. Who knew when to tell me "it is just so hard sometimes" and when to say "keep going". This may sound cheesy, but nursing is not a one woman job. It takes a ton of support, time, and people who keep your spirit up and your eyes open on the long days.

For us, it wasn't a walk in the park. Nursing took effort. Back in the newborn days, S wasn't gaining a lot of weight. I remember going to the doctors at that two week mark just praying we were spiking in weight. We weren't. I was hysterical. I was so afraid I'd have to give up; give her formula. But with a kind hearted and gentle pediatrician and some more guidance from the LC, we went from slow gaining to well- the chunkiest baby. S was a lazy eater as a tiny just born thing, and her latch was medicore. But it got better and better.... And then about a month in, we got thrush. Horrible, pain shooting through my body thrush. Sienna would scream when we changed her diaper because of the horrible diaper rash. We both took meds. We pushed through it. As I nursed tears literally streamed down my face and I choked back the ugly cry. I held Jamie's hand and squeezed it. Sometimes I can't believe we survived those four weeks. But we did. It wasn't easy. I was tired. I was sad. I was hoping this would have been easier. But it was worth it to me. Having that tiny baby curled up to me and giving her what I felt was the best was worth it. Knowing I could soothe her in two seconds was worth it. Knowing that (with the GREAT assurance of moms who had been there before) it would get easier made it worth it.  I wish someone would have told me just how difficult it could be at times. They for sure told me how rewarding it would be, but my promise going forward is to tell new moms how hard it is. To pass on books and knowledge and comforting words. To empathize on the worst days and to encourage on the upswings.

Pumping. I hated pumping. I wrote a whole post about pumping here. If you're a mom who works and you want to breastfeed for the entire first year, pumping is a huge part of it. It isn't thrilling. Read my other post for tips. For sure doable, but for suuuuure tiring and takes planning.

And as we emerged from those hard newborn days, nursing became more enjoyable. It was a built in 30-40 minutes every few hours to take some downtime with my girl. I was forced to sit down, take a deep breath andd relax. Car trip and fussy baby? Nurse her and she's out for 2-3 hours. Going to a family outing? Nurse in the car before hand and smiles all around as she becomes the most social little bee. Flying 6 hours? Nurse x3 to keep her happy. Plus, up until our last days of nursing, cuddling up with my girl, especially on the weekends in our bed for a few extra minutes, was priceless. It's a relationship that is unexplainable and bonded me to S even more than I thought was possible.

Fast forward to the 7ish month mark. Baby girl was eating solids like a champ. Nursing only fourish times a day. Night wakings were minimal and there were days we were going hours without nursing. I remember around 9 months thinking, oh for sure she will cut down soon. But she didn't. As if she had read the baby books, she knew that 12 months was the time to start weaning. We stuck with four feedings from month 7-12.  And bed time hung tight at a whopping 30 minutes of nursing until 10-11 months. Then it happened. Like clockwork as her first birthday approached she started to be okay with switching out a bottle for nursing sessions. After she turned one, I thought we'd just stop. She had other ideas.... It took another month or so until we got to that point.

Our very last nursing session was last Thursday-before J and I went away for the first time together since she was born. For afternoon nap, I scooped her up and asked if she wanted to nurse. She smiled and as if she knew it was the last time she snuggled in. Then she fell asleep nursing. She never falls asleep nursing anymore, hasn't in the past few months. But her eyes rolled back as she nursed and her little eyelashes fluttered. And as her hand went from holding her lovey to patting my back to resting it quietly as her breathing slowed to that relaxed sleepiness breath. I squeezed her and rocked her back and forth for a few minutes, taking some time to appreciate how far we'd come. I pushed her hair out of her face, kissed her cheeks. I put her down in her crib and tip toed out of her room. I knew it was the last nursing session. It was incredibly bittersweet.

When we got back from vacation, there was a part of me that was sad (and shed a tear) about the fact that she's finished nursing for sure. My goal was always a year though, and we made it. Successfully.  Without a drop of formula. Without supplementing.  I am endlessly proud of our nursing relationship. I'll give myself and my girl a pat on the back. We did it.


First Day ever nursing. My tiny newborn.

Last nursing session. Sweet one year old Love.

I love you little Sienna, you are the best first baby I could have ever imagined. You taught me what it means to be more patient, to put you first and me second to make it through an entire year plus of breastfeeding. We did it together, kiddo. Happy 13 months of nursing to us!