the case of the missing rehearsal dinner dress.

I bought a dress for my rehearsal dinner from Saks. I adored it. It was a gorgeous lace dress with a black ribbon belt built into it. Obsessed. This is the last time I saw it:

I think this was also the last time I saw a waistline on me this small. I should draw on my baby bump that has since grown. I swore I left the dress in the hotel suite I shared with my parents. My mom swears she gave it to me to take home. Either way, gorgeous dress, you are MIA and you have been for a whole year now.

Has anyone seen her? Can we get her back? Hotel Dupont says they don't have her. Sad. I should have put her picture on a milk carton. Then she would see she was adopted stolen and try to find her birth mother (me). What, you never read that book in middle school?

Last year on this Friday we were prepping for wedding and rehearsal. I was probably getting my manicure and pedicure around this time. And we spent the night celebrating and toasting to our family, our friends, and each other. And consuming amazing food from Domaine Hudson in Wilmington.

This year, we will likely be sitting at our kitchen table perusing our financial advisor's latest recommendations over microwave dinner (since our stove is currently pulled out while the backsplash is beign finished) and figuring out which baby crib we can afford...

And I wouldn't want it any other way. Happy Anniversary Weekend, J! xoxo

The difference in a year...

October 12, 2010: Last year, on this very day, I was sitting at work trying desperately to concentrate. I had met with my dad and Nicole, our wedding planner, in the morning to finalize decor and to hand off seating charts and cards. My anxieties were high flying but so was my excitement. I was eating 2 granola bars and a lot of coffee per day. My dress needed to fit! I was marrying my best friend! I was excited. I was moved. I was anything but feeling calm and collected. But not in a bad way.... just in a my wedding is days away and I can't wait way. In 4 days, it would be wedding day. In 4 days, it would be the best day of my life.

Last night, I sat on the couch watchign Kim Kardashian's dream wedding. And while Bruce Jenner (you're such a sweet guy Bruce) talked to Kim about her dad and her wedding day, I found myself tearful. Who gets tearful while watching the Kardashian clan!? But I could remember it all. And while my wedding did not consist of 3 dresses or appearances by half of the NBA, it still brought back memories of overwhelming emotions of that the week ... each day a separate little page in the nostalgia book.

October 12, 2011: This morning, a year later, we went for our 20 week anatomy scan. They check baby's heart and brain... and the nuchal folds and neural tubes... and the leg bones and the 10 fingers and 10 toes. Baby girl is healthy and happy in there! And my heart again is full of the feelings I had a year ago. Excitement, always some anxiety. And a lot of love for my new family- both my husband and my little one growing. She kicked up a storm- she will be a soccer player like daddy. I am now eating 2 granola bars before lunch even rolls around and only decaf lattes are on the menu, and only once in awhile.

BABY FOOT!!

And while a lot has changed, I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. Because I can't believe we said our I do's a year ago. I can't believe we've created a new little one to add to our lives. And the same people who supported us in starting our life together as a married couple are thrilled for us to be preparing for a new baby and a happy family life. I guess, at the end of the day, one thing is still very true: I'm lucky.

Wake up and freak out!!

Sometimes I think for real our life could be recorded for a sitcom. But not because of what happens, more because of my reactions. This morning at 6:20 I'm relaxing in bed slowly waking up. And I'm sort of wondering why the cat isn't head butting me for his food. It is also more quiet than usual in the land of cats, but I can subtly hear some rustling on our carpet. And both cats seem to be getting along. Great.

Jamie all of a sudden jumps out of bed and says "I need to turn on the light!" then he walks over to the cats, picks something up (A MOUSE !!!!) and says nonchalanty "Dexter won." OMG this makes me sit up straight in bed and start firing questions at Dex as if he is human, "where did you get that??? Why did you bring it in our bedroom?? Why do you have a mouse but I have never seen any mice in the house?" I stare at him and finally end with "I wish you could talk." Dex then tries to jump up on the bed and I scream "NO! You have rodent germs! Get off!!" and he jumps down, utterly confused. Jamie thinks I'm losing it. Dex killed the mouse. Jamie got rid of said dead mouse.

But now of COURSE I'm worried we may have other mice!! Ewww! In fact my mind starts to wander... What if Dex had jumped up on the bed WITH a mouse?! I told him he isn't allowed near me until Jamie washes his face off (this will likely never happen). Good morning. Hope you don't have mice in your bedroom when you wake up today!

Sugar and Spice and everythign NICE.

That's what we hope our little one is. Friday marked 20 weeks and halfway there.  We added a little pink ribbon to the white wooden numbers we use to count the weeks. Halfway there little baby girl Walls!

I realize that I am preg, but the most surprising part of this photo to me is how long and thick my hair looks! Pregnancy is working wonders for that side of things. Also my cat wanted to be in the picture. I tried to shoo him away, but looks like he won. Tail made it in. Happy Monday! Have a great rest of your week! xo

Sneak Peak: What We've been up to

By we.... I mean J and my dad, as per usual. I was up to baby & maternity shopping with mom. We had a hiatus from house work because we were really exhausted after the major happenings of the kitchen renovation- and I am somewhat limited to what I can do with child. But, this weekend we J got back to work. Here's what he was up to....

BACKSPLASH!!!

More to come upon finishing the details... but we went from choosing plain subway tile to spicing it up with some glass smaller color mixed tiles. A little busy with the countertops, but once we put the toaster and coffee maker and other things back, we think it will be a perfect fit.

A few other projects are in the works. Woohoo. This means baby's room will slowly start to be put together... ordered our glider today in grey & white! House Built of Walls is back at the actual house projects! So exciting!

Future Mommy Mego & Wedding Season!

It is so crazy... lately, (well who are we kidding, lately means "over the past 3 years") we have had a bombardment of weddings and babies. I love every single minute of every single event. I was born to attend showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby visits. There's something nostalgic about everyone's individual day that make me a glutten for punishment (i.e buying new dresses, volunteering to make invitations. etc etc). And the upcoming year is no different. In fact, I have multiple friends due with babies around the same time as me. In fact, my friend Melissa  (our dads were college roommmates and we grew up feeding our baby dolls real baby food) is due just a few weeks after me. And I am sure one I start prenatal yoga classes in a few weeks, I'll have even more (What?! I can't help it, this friend making thing is why we have so many events to go to!). And the weddings and engagements are also piling up. I love it. I love knowing the people who I care about are getting their happily ever after. And I love the chance to catch up with friends huddled together for pictures in our sorority poses.

BUT guess what? As I sat chatting with my friend Haley in Barnes and Noble yesterday about her wedding planning, I realized.. for real... we will have a BABY during this year's wedding season! I mean, I already knew that. We've booked my mom as a babysitter for her wedding already and have planned to get extra hotel rooms because let's face it, I won't actually leave my baby for more than a day. She will just be a bit spoiled, but did anyone ever think otherwise? But yesterday, my mind wandered to what dresses I will fit in (!!), how I will manage to drink  champagne (oh dear god that sounds so good) and still feed baby, and how I will feel when I hand off baby overnight for the first time. But more than that, how we will have a little family to think about and not just J and myself lounging in a hotel bed post wedding brunches until 12pm when check out time rolls around on a Sunday morning.

(Although look! I was already holding little babies at my own wedding brunch. Hi Hazey!)

That doesn't mean I am not excited for wedding season, I actually can't wait. It means baby will be here, my friends will have even more happiness in their life, and that I will be successfully (let's hope) balancing family time and adult time complete with wine. Five weddings are on the books for next year... well sort of. I know we have 5, but only 3 dates are set in stone thus far. If you are my friend and still planning events, pick another date please. Okay thanks.

June 9- Haley & Frank tie the knot in the Princeton, NJ area.
September 22- Melissa & Scott are getting hitched in Seattle, WA (we've never been there, super excited)
October 13- Michael & Heather get married in NY.

Of these three weddings, my parents are invited to two. Fight now for your spot as a babysitter (this may mean we fly you to Seattle because I'm not leaving my child across the country). Who knew this is what happens when you grow up?

Baby Dot (that's what J has been calling her jokingly because both my grandmas are named Dorothy: we are not actually naming her that) will have the happiest parents when she gets here and we are so lucky to have the most supportive friends. Favorite comment when I told friends baby is a girl goes to J Freeman, who stated "SNAP BID!!" If you don't know what that means, you were not in greek life and may need some googling to help you out there. But hilarious.

Feeling lots of love this week. Can't wait for more big life events to come! xo

It's a GIRL baby!

We found out today that we are having a girl!!

I really didn't care either way and would have been equally excited, but I did have three dreams that told me girl. Plus the chinese calendar thing that I can never read also said girl. I just had a feeling. Mama's instinct. 

So welcome baby girl walls. I will love you more than you can imagine. And I also could not contain myself and had to buy you a few little presents. Hello Juicy Couture baby style!

Oh and when they first put the ultrasound on my tummy today, you showed us a foot. As if to say, get out of here, I am trying to nap (which you were and I drank water and moved around and you woke up!)

Feel free to send cute girl things. I am going to attempt to not have EVERYTHING pink. I love some greys adn yellows and the nursery theme is staying the same. I can't wait to start decorating! Yay!

Steve Jobs: Apple Genius, Word Guru

Sure, I carry my iphone proudly.... and my ipod connected to my car's stereo got me through so many commutes and long drives. But, the thing that impressed me about Steve Jobs was not just his amazing apple products. In fact, that impressed me the least.

What impressed me were his words. That a billionaire could somehow speak and reach billions. That he was always striving and learning, and making things better. His brilliant mind was full of ideas, and his words cut through a nation. And anyone who knows me, knows I love quotes. In high school I had an entire binder of quotes. I used to change my really cool AOL profile to reflect my favorites.

So Steve Jobs, here is to your creative mind, your amazing company, and your flare for life. You were one of the crazy ones; and whether you're an apple, a pc, or none of the above, no one would argue that you made this world a more interesting place. Here are your favorite words of mine:

Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.

That’s been one of my mantras — focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it in the end because once you get there, you can move mountains. - 1998

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs clearly left a mark. And some clear words to live by. And in insanely impossible standard to work towards. And while I love the quotes and words, and the world treasures the creations of this mastermind, unfortunately this is yet another time that cancer struck too soon and too hard. So while we all sit by hoping that one day there will be someone else as profoundly impactful in the business and tech world as Jobs, remember those who are still fighting & may be able to beat the fight. So go lend a hand or donate, and continue to make that difference this leader told us to:
Pancreatic Cancer Action Network
Johns Hopkins Pancreatic Cancer Research

Here's to the crazy ones....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAZEL!

Today, my our niece turned one.  And I guess in some worlds, one is no big deal. But in my world, little Hazey turning one means so many things. I know where I was sitting and what I was doing when Em, J's sister, called to tell me she was pregnant (on my couch in Columbus, attempting to collect wedding ideas while watching Bones on Netflix). I remember feeling overwhelmingly excited and happy- and immediately hoping for a little girl to spoil. Oh, and then the reality that Hazel was due.... less than a week before our wedding! The two realities smashed into each other and I think both Em and I realized we would be trying to figure out how to get her to our wedding and make sure that perfect little baby was happy.

Then, little Haze, before you were born, mama called me one night to tell me you had a hole in your heart. You kicked that hole's butt (haha butthole) and you were juuuuust fine. But you sure did give a scare. I think after that, I just wanted you to be here healthy and didn't care so much about your mama getting into a bridesmaid dress.

And then she ARRIVED. And Nino left a half tearful message saying she's HERE. Hazel James, named after J. And at 5:30 am doing my horrid commute last year, I got to talk to Nino and hear that she was perfect. And when I met Hazel, I fell in love. Head over heels in love. And that was the first time my heart started to yearn for a tiny infant of our own. Because she fit perfectly in my arms. And let's face it, I love babies.

And do you know what else happened?  Em was the strongest best mom in the entire world... put on a bridesmaid dress 11 days post birth, and looked better than half the people at the wedding. She's miraculous. It's no wonder Hazel is just as amazing. So we had a little pre-wedding present. And a pre- wedding love. And little Hazey was there on my wedding day getting ready just like one of the girls.  I told Emily I think EVERY bride should hold a baby on their wedding day to calm the nerves.

Hazel was a little trooper and even made it to the reception! Wedding day was already the happiest- adding Haze to the family was just icing on the cake (the cake icing itself was amazing). 

I also think Hazel made J more comfy with little ones, and she makes it easy. She's always so good. (Although, Hazel, if you are listening, stop crying when I am holding you now and your mom walks away,I don't love that thank you very much)

We love love love you Hazel! You've gone from a teeny weeny little blanket wrapped sleeping baby at our wedding to a blue-eyed cutie who is walking and babbling and making us laugh.

HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY LITTLE ONE!!! xoxo

Baby Logan!

We met baby Logan Steffa this weekend. He makes my heart melt and is so tiny and wonderful. Laurie looks amazing and was just meant to be a mommy. Thanks to the Steffa family for letting us crash your house & feeding us so we could see your new grandbaby!

Yes, I did hog the baby. And yes, it did make me want the next 20 weeks to hurry up and pass so our little one can be here & we can have play dates with the Steffas. Well, ya know, put the babies next to each other and pretend they care the other one is there dates.

Lots of love to Laurie, Joe & Logan. xo