From months twelve to eighteen, if you were like us, sleep was good. And I mean 11-13 hour nights of blissful quiet, broken occasionally by a fever or cutting a tooth. But if Sienna wasn't sick or teething, sleep was... well blissful. We climbed into bed each night knowing there was a chance we'd clock eight hours of glorious sleep (if we could tear ourselves away from reality tv or a good book).
And then.... then we hit the 18 month sleep regression. We thought it was molars. We thought it was a cold. We thought it was night terrors. Night mares. Developmental strides. The absolute height of separation anxiety. We talked it to death. All we knew is that Sienna tossed and turned all night. She let out cries. She sometimes was sitting up talking to her stuffed animals at 3:30 am as if it was time for a full on conversation. She practiced her words. She cried at bed time. Something we have NEVER dealt with, and she kept crying until I came back in at times. She was avoidant of her nighttime routine, more fussy during the day (hello sleep deprivation), and mama was a very unhappy camper too.
After a couple weeks, no fevers, and no teeth - we knew it was just one of these things we had to ride out. We went through this for about six weeks. It was hell. I was losing my mind because I was tired every day. I kept telling myself it was the 18 month regression. In retrospect, she did have a total verbal explosion in the past month which could definitely have been contributing. Whatever it was, here's what I found helped ease the pain.
Top Ten 18 Month Sleep Regression Sanity Savers:
1. Starting a new routine that included NO TV the last 1.5 hours before bed. No TV for the whole day when we could swing it, but sometimes it wasn't reality. We used to allow one episode of Curious George while she drank her milk. This was cut entirely and took a couple days to get used to, but worked for the best. 2. Reading a few extra books and doing some extra cuddles at night. Talking to her about her day and reminding her we would play again tomorrow. Lots of extra verbal attention. Reminding her bed time was coming, but also that tomorrow would be fun.
3. Letting Sienna have some control of things since going to bed is not her choice. For example, we hold up two pairs of pajamas every night and let her pick. Before she climbs into her chair we ask her to pick out her books. We also sometimes let her choose things like if mommy or daddy will sit and read with her, and what cup she wants to drink out of. (We still do this, toddler control for the win.)
4. Making sure we got on a very set routine again. Bed time between 7 and 7:15- no exceptions. We started to get sloppy with this for awhile as our work schedules got busy. It's not fair to let Sienna's sleep suffer because work is crazy. We also tried to minimize travel during this crazy sleep time.We started her routine between 6:15 and 6:30.
5. Taking full advantage of her naps. Letting her sleep longer than usual if she was really tired. We found that no matter what we tried, night sleep was screwy. So instead of our usual waking her after a certain amount of time, we stopped that. There were a few 3+ hour naps in there- and boy did she need it. (We didn't push back bed time, we still kept it the same).
6. After checking to make sure all was well (no fever, no vomit), telling her it was time for night night, we walked out of the room even if she protested. If she did get really upset, we went in and told her to lay down and it was time for night night. Put her blanket over her, patted her back until she calmed down. Once or twice I had to pick her up, but generally just putting my hand on her back worked. I always went back in if she got hysterical, but otherwise she could soothe herself with her lovies and blankets.
7. Taking a deep breath, reading a book, watching a TV show with J as soon as we put her down. We knew we'd have restless nights so we tried to veg early. Even if we weren't sleeping, our bodies were resting. It also helped to have someone to remind me she sometimes needed to work it out on her own. Team work.
8. Napping on weekends when she napped if we had a rough night. Take a long hot shower if your partner is home and can be on baby duty for awhile. Exercise. If your mom offers to order you pizza so there's no post dinner clean up, go for it. Basically, take care of yourself during these regressions like you did when you had a newborn. Let people help you.
9. Lean on your mom friends. They get it. They've been there. Asking them the exact pattern of their kid's sleep may not help, but hearing them laugh gently as they tell you they've been there is priceless. Besides, motherhood isn't all fun and it's nice to hear that you're not the only one who feels that way.
10. Tell yourself over and over it will pass. This helped me tremendously because I knew in my heart it was a phase. I wanted a quick fix, but also had read and heard that this can go on for awhile. I'm grateful it was only 6 weeks- but what a zombie I was during that time. It will pass. It will pass. It will pass.
For awhile, I couldn't find the motivation to write this because it was sort of traumatic to go through and writing it down reminded me how little sleep I was getting and how much anxiety it was provoking in me to see my girl's total sleep hours dwindling. But I'm hoping this will help some other 3 am googling mama going through the 18 month sleep regression. It's not fun, but as I said...
It will pass.
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