Let's start with this picture. Yes, you are reading correctly. That's some meds for my cat. Dexter Cat. Haha. Also, the people at the vet's office clearly need an update on my last name. So I called and told them to change it to Walls because I feel like people must think I'm not really my cat's mom since we have different last names. Kidding. But seriously, I sent J to pick this up. He was all, ummm what the hell do I ask for? I'm like you know, just ask for Internet Walls' prozac. Then it's under this. My maiden name. And fluoxetine. I think I sent J on a wild goose chase, but he came home with the drugs. Mission Accomplished. Sort of.
The cats have been getting along well lately... by "well" I mean they can stand each other for approximately 5 minutes in the same room if both J and I are also in the room petting them and feeding them treats. But, it's very on and off and sometimes Dex barely tolerates it at all. None the less, we feel like we're on the mend, but prozac was what the doctor ordered (literally), so we decided to give it a go.
The directions said give 1/4 a day. So, we got 30 of the 10mg tablets and cut them in quarters (I know, who are we? We spend Saturday morning splitting our cats' meds), and were left with 120 pieces. Enough for two cats for two months. For $20. Not too bad. That's about $5/cat/month, which we were more than willing to pay if it meant no more scratching and brawling in the middle of the night.
I was surprised how big the pieces still were when we split them. I was also cracking up at this entire procedure. How the heck did we go from two sweet adopted SPCA kittens to killer cats that need SSRIs?? So the vet says some big words which basically mean "they may sort of scratch their throat" so use something to coat it or feed them right after. We chose both. I coated the 1/4 pills with butter. And held off feeding them until after the fact.
Oh also, don't forget, if you are going to give your cat prozac, don't let them drive the car. It lessens their ability to perform hazardous tasks. So glad I read that warning. We were going to let Dex drive to Wawa to get us some lunch. Now that I feel like I've totally lost it for giving these meds to my pets, we proceed.
J is holding Dexter so we tackle him first. I basically took the pill, opened his mouth and stuck it way back behind his tongue. Gag. Hiss. Weird meow sound.... Success! One down. We feed him and let him run away from us. Internet has always been more relaxed but does NOT like this pill. He tried to get his back leg between my hand and his mouth. I really wish reality tv cameras followed me around. I realize people give their pets prozac, but how many owners feel like they need a drink afterwards? I finally get Internet to move his paw, shove the pill down his throat... and he decides he LIKES IT. My cat LIKES the medicine. He starts meowing and licking my hands and waiting for more. On second thought, he likes the butter. No surprise there. We let the cats do their own thing yesterday and kept them separated... because who knows what to expect. Two hours later, these are their positions. Here's Internet:
This went on for hours. He didn't move. He slept all day. He wasn't even interested in the very intriguing open window behind him. Did we accidentally drug our cat to be so mellow he doesn't even care about life? Did we turn him into Eeyore? He assured me this morning by meowing for 2 hours until I got out of bed to feed him that we did not medicate him into oblivion. But I thought, hey, maybe this is working.
Then I went upstairs to find Dex.... I checked on him a few times. When I found him like this for the 2nd hour in a row (I know, I know, I exaggerate allll the time- but this was so bizarre and true. A full 2 hours), I was wondering if my "anxious" cat is actually bipolar and having a manic episode. He meowed to himself and did this:
For 2 hours. Licking himself and cleaning himself... and oddly sitting like this with his legs open. My friend Anna said it is good documentation of his hypersexuality. I think it is hilarious (for now). But seriously, this cat was NOT more mellow. I felt like I was watching a cat trip on acid or something. He meowed at the wall, he sat like this for a few hours, and by nightfall he was EXHAUSTED. He slept curled up in the office and then at 4 am started to cry... and cry... and cry... We tried to see if both cats could get along in peace, but it was a no go. Then today's dose of meds did not go so well and I got a lot of hissing and hair standing up on his back. What the heck is going on?
Moral of the story: Cats are weird, go buy a dog.
I realize prozac has about a 4 week initial ramp up... but is my cat going to sit with his legs spread being inappropriate forever? Wish us luck in our animal kingdom.
Again, what has my life come to?!?!
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