Blood tests, fake baby names, and fake drinking.

(Originally written on June 25th FYI). I'll make these updates in blue, just to be fair, in case it's a boy. Not that red from the last post means girl.)

Do you want to know how anti-climactic it is to get a blood test to see if you are pregnant? You go to LapCorps, read the same waiver that ex-cons who have to pee in cups to take drug tests read, and are led back to a boring white mini cubicle. Yep, (possible) baby to be doesn't even get its own room.

The whole time I am in there, I am waiting for the lab tech to say Congrats! or to ask if I am excited. But nothing. She doesn't even acknowledge that the tube of blood she is pulling from me is to see if there is a new little human being growing inside. This, is without exaggeration, our exchange.

Me: Sometimes they have trouble getting my blood, I tried to drink a lot of gatorade this morning before I came, you know, because I can't have diet coke (baby reference). Not that diet coke would hydrate me.
Tech:  *smiles* We can use a butterfly needle.
Me: Okay, that would be good, I just wanted to give you warning.
Tech: Well, I think your veins will cooperate today, I can see them.
Me: Great. I am anxious to get this test done!
Tech: It's empty in here today at this time. It's because the elderly come at 6 am, like before we even open. They wait at the door. If I was retired, I wouldn't wake up so early. Well, maybe I would because I hear that just happens but I wouldn't venture out. Maybe I'd drink some coffee and relax. Not get somewhere at 6 am.
Me: *fighting back urge to say I CANT HAVE COFFEE!!!*
Tech: Well, ya know, I bet my grandmother would do that.
Me: (now engaging in this conversation???) Yeah my grandma wakes up really early too. She says the rosary every morning.
Tech: Okay, you're all set. Have a good day.
Me: Thanks (confused). 

Waiiiiit a second, I came here to see if I have a baby. You poked me with a butterfly needle, talked to me about elderly people's sleep patterns, and that's it?! I was disappointed. I went to Home Goods to make myself feel better and looked at high heels. I decided I don't need new heels pre baby and went home. (This is not entirely true. I also got  decaf latte afterwards. I remember this day actually pretty darn clearly.)

In other updates, J and I have started to jokingly and fantasy-world discuss names. But we have not gotten very far. Do you know what happens when your last name is Walls? A few things. First, you can add almost any color or adjective and have a funny name. So far J has suggested... Brick, Stone, White, Violet... and the list goes on. (My dad and J had an email chain at one point. Things like Berlin and Great were also added to the list. This is funny some of the time. But my grandmother thinks it is hilarious, so we say it often to make her laugh. ) J also suggested if the baby is born on 11/11/11 (umm that has no chance of happening, that's like 4 months before little one is due), that we name it some weird video game name because that company will give you free games for life. NO THANK YOU. I have suggested only one real name (which I still sort of love so I am not going to reveal it) and J told me it sounded like an elf. This coming from someone who wants to name our baby STONE WALLS? I rest my case.

Let's go on to other falsities. Drinking. I am not an alcoholic. In fact, I don't drink a lot very often at all. But I do love a glass of sauv blanc or vodka soda splash of lime. And e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. who knows me knows this. So this weekend in Rehoboth we went to dinner with our friends and I had to figure out a way to hide it. I couldn't just sip club sodas because I would have had to order them. So we got to the restaurant early and I got a non-alcoholic drink. A lemonade. Salt Air Kitchen has the BEST homemade lemonade. (Lemonade is my favorite drink in the world with child. I don't know why but it fixes everything. I try to cut it with water or have lemon water to avoid the major sugar rushes and fear of gestational diabetes.)  J and I discussed our approach. We went to happy hour last night and were hungover so not drinking a lot? My stomach was hurting? (this isn't far fetched for those of you who know me!) We need to get up early in the morning to see family? Fail fail fail. So I ordered ONE drink, a lemonade with vodka and placed it between J and myself. I took a sip, then would literally spit it back into my water. And then J would take a HUGE sip and it would look like it was gone. Thank goodness it was Friday night, we were all relatively tired, and drinks were not suggested after dinner. I am so happy that July is not our super busy month. It will give me some time to relax and hide away. (I owe my husband a big thanks for this one. And a few other times. Sorry Cauff & Baback for lying to you. It was out of necessity only. Promise. You are still my blog reader extraordinaires.)

We head to Bermuda next week and I am a liiiittttle nervous about flying given my nausea. But it's not horrific yet and I am hoping the worst holds off until we get back. After that, we have THREE WHOLE WEEKENDS of only small plans. Phewww. (Ugh even thinking back to this flight and my meager breakfasts that consisted of like cheese and a small sliver of coffee cake makes me nauseated.)

Our first real doctor's appointment is July 15, followed by August 9th (I think these dates are wrong, but who cares.). Depending on if there are pictures after that first appointment, we may decide to tell our parents then. But my parents are in San Francisco on vaca during that time. So it may have to wait until the next weekend. I am LITERALLY not able to talk to my mom as long as usual and find myself feeling like every sentence is a lie. But I want to see if we can hold off until I can tell my mom and dad together, in person. We will see if that happens.(Again, I think I told my mom like the day after this... maybe?)

Oh, Laurie, I want you to know that I also feel I am lying every single time I speak to you and have 100 questions for you and cannot wait until I can tell you, too. I am still trying to figure out if I can convince you that we need to get lunch instead of dinner in Bermuda so that I don't have to try to lie again.( Laurie has now informed me of entirely too many things in fact. But, this worked for the trip. But not because I convinced her. Because preggo Laurie (who is now Mommy Laurie!!!) suggested ice cream and I was mooooore than happy to oblige.)

I continue to feel exhausted but can't sleep well at night. Up at 6 am, but taking multiple naps per day on the weekends. I am considering moving to Canada where you get a year of paid maternity leave. (That's not realistic... but still... sounds so nice) My stomach is also starting to be more picky. If I am hungry and don't eat, I am screwed. Nausea ensues immediately. If I eat too much, my stomach hurts. I have sort of gotten the hang of it, but as I sit here the acid burning in my stomach tells me I am not listening... So I am off to feed baby bubba, who is probably about 2 mm now. (I had no idea that these were the easy days and soon the nausea would take over my life for a few months -- but it was welcome-- because it meant baby was growing). 

Note: I am a horrible secret keeper. The fact that I was writing things down, but couldn't tell anyone was killing me. J kept telling me just wait.. just wait... it was SO hard. But I did it. Go me. I'm a champ. 

PPS (in current time). Pinterest houses my inspiration for the nursery. If you don't belong to this site; join. Makes life more fun.